Food tidings

In our church and around our college campus we organise meals rosters for families who have just welcomed a new baby into their home. We have been blessed by meals rosters over the years and they truly do make a huge difference in the early days with a newborn. In fact, after I had Lydia, my church family was generous enough to keep it going (a couple of times a week) for some months. I was so grateful, especially since they can take a bit of organising.

I've just come across a fantastic website which will make meals rosters more manageable. It's called Food Tidings and it enables you to set up a system so that the organising happens on the one place, online. Someone needs to set up a roster and email the link to those who might like to be on it, then those who would like to be on it sign up themselves, nominating the date and the meal they are going to cook. This means the person organising it doesn't need to keep shuffling people and dates around - those signing up look after themselves, and they don't need to email details out to everone either, as that's all down on the relevant page (contact numbers, addresses, allergies etc). After being signed up to do one for a mum at college this weekend, I also discovered another fantastic function of the site - it sends an email reminder a day ahead so you don't forget - brilliant!

If ever there was a website which proved that the internet could be used for good and not just for evil it's this one!

A kids' book we've liked: 'Jodie's journey'

I'm changing my old 'book of the week' series to something which promises less - 'a kids book we've liked'. I think this is something I can more realistically deliver at this stage! I'll share kids books that our family have enjoyed - either together or separately as I get the chance.

The most recent book I've read with the older two was one I read as a kid: Jodie's Journey. It's written by Colin Thiele, who is more famous for his book Storm Boy. It's about a girl (Jodie) who suffers from sever rheumatoid arthritis. A lot of the book is about her diagnosis and struggle with the disease. The climax of the book happens in the Ash Wednesday bushfires of 1983.

It's a well-told story which I thought was good in helping the kids think about what it must be like to have a chronic disease. Thiele actually had arthritis himself and wrote the book in response to a request from a little girl who suffered from the disease and wanted others to understand what it was like for her. I also thought it was good to teach the kids a bit of history about the Ash Wednesday fires (coincidentally we reached that part of the book on February 16 - the actual date of the fires, which made it seem like I had planned it that way!). Also, we learned a bit of about bushfires as well and I shared a few of my experiences thI had growing up in the Blue Mountains (one of my favourites is that Dave and I started going out in the middle of the '97 fires and fell in love as he cleared out the gutters of my family home - my dad was overseas with my sister and mum and I were on our own).

I've always liked the way Colin Thiele writes for kids. He takes his audience seriously and this book is no exception - I recommend it for readers who are 8 and up.

Who's been sleeping in my house?

I had a birthday recently, and one the the presents Dave gave me was a DVD of a TV series called 'Who's been sleeping in my house?'. I had been vaguely aware it was on TV a while back but I never got around to watching it. But Dave had noticed it and thought that it sounded like the kind of thing I would like. I do love history, and especially this type of history that focuses on people and includes oral history.

Each episode, the presenter (Adam Ford, an archaeologist) takes a look at an old house and tries to discover its history. There's always a bit of a mystery about the house that needs to be discovered - 'why does that path lead into the fence and then stop?', 'where is the cellar that no-one has been able to find for the last 60 years?' etc. Along the way the archaeologist discovers some interesting facts and puts together a picture of the people who once lived in the house. There have been some beautiful stories uncovered and I have cried at the end of almost every episode.

And what's been really delightful is the way the rest of the family have totally got into it as well. What began as show that 'we'll all watch it together because it's mum's birthday and this is her present' has become something that the kids are begging the watch whenever we have 'family time'. It's definitely not aimed at kids, but the combination of history, mystery and good storytelling has hooked them - which makes me very happy to see.

It's definitely one to to watch with them though as some of the stories need to be talked about (people who have died and sad stories that get unearthed, for example). And while the series mainly highlights the fact that people come and go, life is fleeting and you certainly can't take your house with you, I've been surprised again and again by the way the current owners of the houses seem to resist this reality - quite a few make statements about how they are always going to stay healthy so they never leave the house. or how they and 'arrived in heaven' when they bought the house. In the midst of all the intrigue and beauty and sentiment, we've found it's given us a good chance to talk through the inevitability of death and the danger of worshipping house and possessions.

If you like history or architecture you might like this too - I recommend it!

Reading the Bible with your kids

I was reminded last Sunday of how reading the Bible to my kids actually can be an enormous encouragement for me too. Dave was away for the weekend and had taken our car, so we weren't able to get to church this morning. (We might have normally walked, but one of the kids was feeling headachy and sick and I thought a 30 min walk might be pushing it).

While it's not the same as being with our church family (I always feel like something's missing when I have to stay home on a Sunday morning), I thought it would be good if the kids and I sat down and read a bit of the Bible and prayed for our church. So we sat down over morning tea and decided we should read the next bit of John that our church and the Sunday school would be looking at that morning.

If you had asked me why I was doing it before we started, I would have said it was for the kids' sake - that I wanted to teach them that Sundays were still special, and that we should pray for our church family even when we couldn't be with them. But as I read, (on a weekend where I haven't managed to read my Bible on my own), I realised the words were feeding me too and that I had been hungry. As it happened, it was the passage where Jesus tells his disciples that he is the bread of life - that they needed to feed on him to have eternal life. Exactly what I needed to read that morning...

Love God in front of your children...

...don't just tell your kids to love God.  John Piper talks in this short clip about why it's important to model and express our feelings about God to our kids.

Kids Feel What Parents Expressively Feel from John Piper on Vimeo.

links - 16/2/12

Disciplining a child is like being on a permanent diet - Soph on the persistence it takes to discipline.

When all your kids go to school - Jean reflects on this big transition.

Is Golilocks too scary? - The Guardian raises this question and wonders if these books will be rewritten. I hope not!

Don't give up - an encouragement to persevere as a follower of Jesus.  I think we all need to hear this regularly!

Intrusion into the Christian bedroom - Ed Welch questions whether Christians should only be guided by their consciences in the bedroom. (HT: Jean)

My child's dream - to have friends - I read this article through tears. "Researchers followed children with disabilities and their families through interviews and observation for 32 months. One of the key findings was that parents face huge pressure to 'make their child normal' and when they aren't successful, the child and family are excluded -- from friendships, at school and in the community. The biggest barrier to participating in sports or community activities was not access or transportation, but attitudes."

The down side of school from home - a very honest post from Rachael. "Most home schoolers face fierce criticism from friends and family because of their decision to home-school. They end up having to defend themselves so often that it makes it difficult for them to talk about the difficulties they face without people saying "I told you so" or "well send them to school, then"." I suspect many of us are afraid to share the down sides of the schooling option we've chosen for fear of criticism or pressure to change. Thanks Rachael for sharing!

Separation anxiety

Here in Australia, the last few weeks have marked the beginning of the new school year. There's a lot of change involved as kids get allocated new teachers, new classes and deal with the fact that not everything is the way it was last year or the way they would have chosen it. For kids starting kindergarten (as we call it in NSW), their whole world has been turned upside down. Suddenly they have to wear uniforms, navigate the playground with its big spaces and big kids, and sit up straight with their legs crossed for long periods of time. There has been a fair quantity of tears at the beginning of each day at our school from the littlest ones as they say goodbye and join the lines.

But it's not just the kids that get anxious. I think there's a fair amount of anxiety experienced by the mums too - certainly by me. We love our school, we're happy with our decision to send our kids there, but I still find it hard to leave them there each day after the long summer holidays. One of my kids struggles with change and finds the first few weeks hard; another has periodic struggles with friendships; and the one in kindergarten, well, she's quite happy to be there (actually she loves it), but she regularly lines up in the wrong place, can't find her friends in the playground and has nose bleeds and gets sent to the sick bay. I say goodbye to the three of them in the morning and come home and am tempted to worry.

Problem is, there really is no point in worry and Jesus tells me not to do it. It feels like my way of loving them to come home and fixate on all the things that could wrong on that particular day. But it's not really what God wants me to do. The Bible tells us to pray instead of worry, so I've been trying to spend more time in prayer for my kids during the day while they are off at school. I can hear the school bell from our house and I pray for them as they go out into the playground and back into the classroom again. I remind myself that God our Father loves them even more than me, that he is using the good and the bad experiences at school (which aren't that bad anyway, really) to make them more like Jesus. I thank him that in the area that really, really matters - whether they love Him - I have much to be thankful for.

It's not a magic antedote to worry, but what a blessing and relief to know that I can bring my worries about my children to my Father in Heaven - the one who is with them every day, watching over them and working in their lives.

The year ahead: beginning to plan

So I have my computer back now, which is nice but I'm also a little scared because in the time I had no computer my productivity around the house increased dramatically! I have made a resolution to try and limit my time on the computer so my new habits can continue.

One of the things I've been trying to do over the past couple of weeks has been to do some planning and organising of our family's routine and schedule. It's really the only way I think I will be able to manage everything with four children with varying needs this year. (I need to take a deep breath just thinking about it!)

My strategy is to have two separate basic routines sorted - a daily one (broken into morning and afternoon, as before and after school are the 'peak' times in our house at the moment) and a weekly one. It's a good exercise at the beginning of the year to sit down and work out what I want our weeks and days to look like.

I start with the daily one and think through all the things that need to happen - meals, teeth brushing, reading the Bible, homework, piano practice, etc. Then I work out whether we have other space to fit things in that would be nice, but not essential - reading stories definitely fits into this category and I always try to make sure we have enough time in the evening for some fiction reading with the kids. (Dave and I both do this with various combinations of the older kids at the moment.) 

Weekly it's a similar strategy - sleep, school and church are non negotiables. Then there's everything else. I have to fit in regular doctor's appointments, speech and occupational therapy appointments for various children.  Each of these effectively wipes out an afternoon so I need to be realistic about that.

Next there's extra-curricular activities. At this time each year I feel the pressure to get whipped up into a frenzy of signing the kids up to every before and after school activity available, or feeling guilty that I can't. There's a lot of notes that come home in the school bags detailing the latest wonderful thing your child could try and a lot of guilt laid on if you deprive your kids of something they might like to do after school. The approach I try and take to extra-curricular activities is to think through what is best for the family first and then what is best for the child. Whether I am capable of getting the kids to various activities, how it will impact on the baby and other kids IS relevant. Having four children in the family may mean they don't get to do as many extra-curricular activities as kids from smaller families, or it might mean that they just do different ones (eg. two of ours are having piano lessons this year again, but the teacher is coming to us - excellent!).

I find that the trick is to maintain my confidence that I'm not depriving my child if they don't spend every afternoon enriching their lives with French lessons and soccer training. Also, I find that it's worth reminding myself again and again that what I'm aiming for might be quite different from other families. I want to spend time with my kids after school (I already spend 6 hours away from them as it is!) and I want them to spend time with each other too. I also want to have the time and energy to open up our house to friends as well. That won't realistically happen if I cram the weekly routine too full.

The other thing that I think is important in writing up a routine is leaving more space than you think you need. I try to assume that kids will get sick and tired and things will crop up that we weren't expecting and leave some gaps.

So that's where I begin - by working out my daily and weekly routines. I'd love to hear some other approaches though - how do you start planning your time at the beginning of the year?

links: 9/2

Many of these are a bit out of date but I'll share them anyway...

The best age to start school? My dad shares his thoughts (spot the pic of me in kindy!)

I wish someone would do something about that: some tips from Collective Shout about the how and why of compaining to the Advertising Standards Board.

How can I love seven billion neighbours Pt 1 and Pt 2:  Tim Chester thinks through this tricky question.

Concept of self: a really helpful post on body image by Rachael.

Recasting: advice from a speech pathologist that I wish I'd read 10 years ago. I wonder if I can avoid speech pathology fourth time around?

Without a computer...

...which is one of the reasons it has been a bit quiet around here. It was sent off to be fixed (again!) a week ago and I'm still waiting for it to get back. But I have had quite enough to be getting on with: post-holiday cleaning, organising our schedules for this term and sticking them and various other lists around the house for everyone's benefit, buying school supplies I forgot to buy before school went back ... and just generally getting three kids (including a kindergartener who has had all sorts of adventures in her first week) through the first week back at school. I'll be glad for a bit of a rest this weekend.