Talking to kids about disaster

It's interesting how a tragedy that is far away can affect our emotions. I've become aware over the years that I'll struggle emotionally in the week after a disaster or tragedy - whether it's a tsunami, bombing, gunman on a rampage or some other horror. I've almost come to expect it now, but somehow I still end up spending too much time poring over the horrific details in the newspaper. I found Jean's post yesterday a helpful reminder of how to respond to the feelings that a tragedy like the bushfires this week can evoke in us.

In the aftermath of the bushfires in Victoria, I've also been thinking about the ways that kids can be affected. This is the first time that one of our children has really understood that something terrible has happened. Jacob has been told a lot about the bushfires at school and has been able to pick up on details from the radio news. We've noticed that this week he's become quite concerned that we'll be stuck in bushfires, and he's talked a lot about some of the details of the tragedy that he'd learned about at school.

This is all new to me, and I've had to do some thinking with Dave about how to approach this with him. Early Childhood Australia, have a number of helpful links that deal with what to say to children in the aftermath of a disaster like this. I've especially found an article called 'When there is a tragedy', helpful for working out what's appropriate for each age group. There's also a moving and thought-provoking blog post by John Piper, called 'Putting my daughter to bed two hours after the Bridge collapsed' which is not so much a 'how to' post, but a reflection on how he talked through the tragedy of the Minneapolis Bridge collapse with his daughter, Talitha.

I'm aware that some of you have had to deal with this a lot more closely, so this is an even bigger issue for you at the moment. The degree of proximity to the bushfires, not to mention the ages and personalities of our children, will affect how each of us approaches this with our kids. But after a bit of talking through it, here's what Dave and I have decided is helpful for Jacob, aged 6:

- keep talking to him about it - not necessarily giving him more information about events - but listening to his worries and finding out what bothers him;
- pray with him;
- show him a map so he can see how far away the bushfires are, and tell him a bit about bushfires to allay his immediate fears;
- help him to reflect on how much more important relationships are than things and on the promises of heaven for all who trust in Jesus.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you've said to your kids about this disaster (or any others that your kids have been aware of).

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