Six things I have learned this year

Rachael has tagged me in a meme, and has asked me to share six things I have learned this year. Here are a few:

1. I've learned that sending your oldest off to school is not necessarily a net saving of energy. There are definitely some ways in which the day is simplified, but a whole lot of others in which it seems to take more energy - or at least to offer opportunities that involve a lot of energy if you take them up.

2. I've learned how much I love writing poetry! I've always loved reading poetry, but had never had a go at writing it before.

3. I've learned how much easier it is to read my Bible and pray frequently when I do it regularly.

4. I've learned how hard I find it to trust God with sending out my children into the world - even the small 'practice run' that's involved in sending Jacob off to school in the morning.

5. I've learned a lot about sinuses! Where they are, how to look after them, not to mention what a sinus op involves.

6. I've learned once again how many people there are who don't know Jesus, and what a tiny minority of the population are evangelical Christians. Of course I already knew this, but this year I've been much more involved in activities that take me outside the little bubble of the church, and am feeling a new sense of urgency about finding ways to make Jesus known.

This all makes me wonder what I'll be saying this time next year!

Now, I would love to hear Sharon, Wendy, Prue and Melanie share what they've learnt this year (that's if this meme is allowed to continue past today!).

Pic from stockxchng.com

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My 2009 Reading list

If you have been carefully observing my sidebar, you may have noticed that my 2008 reading list has been replaced with a new one for 2009. Despite my fears that I wouldn't, I managed to get through most of last year's reading list, (although I did take a couple out and add quite a few in as the year progressed). I would definitely say that making the list was a huge success in terms of helping me read more. Every time I finished a book, I'd just start on another from my list. It also helped me be a bit more deliberate about what I was reading (although I confess that I read more Alexander McCall Smith novels than I originally planned!).

I've also learned that I shouldn't expect the list to be static. There will be birthday presents, trips to the library, book recommendations and books people lend me and ask me to read and so forth, and I should allow room for that. I'm also going to do a bit of theological study this year (Carson and Moo are already there for that reason), so there may be a few extras because of that as well.

So, given that my list is always open to review, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you have any book recommendations that I really must add to the list?

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Some birthday pics

Because her birthday is so close to Christmas, we tend to celebrate Elsie's half birthdays! But there is something nice about remembering the actual day that God blessed us with our little girl, so she was lucky enough to get a cake today and visits from both sets of grandparents (a benefit of the closeness to Christmas in Dave's parents' case, as they live interstate). Here are a couple of photos of today...

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Poetry Monday - Happy Birthday Elsie

Elsie, you were our Christmas baby,
a gift from God, delightfully unexpected.

Eleven days late
You waited till Christmas was come and gone,
Your birthday overshadowed by His.

But once you were with us
You charmed your way into the centre of our hearts,
Impishly demanding our attention,
With your own brand of irresistible grace.

May it always be that way for you -
Outshone by no one
But gloriously overshadowed
by Christ.

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Yellow legal pads

What is it with 'yellow legal pads' and imaginary conversations with God?

I was very unhappy during that period, personally, professionally, and emotionally, and my life was feeling like a failure on all levels. As I'd been in the habit for years of writing my thoughts down in letters (which I usually never delivered), I picked up my trusty yellow legal pad and began pouring out my feelings. This time, rather than another letter to another person I imagined to be victimizing me, I thought I'd go straight to the source; straight to the greatest victimizer of them all. I decided to write a letter to God. It was a spiteful, passionate letter, full of confusions, contortions, and condemnations. And a pile of angry questions. Why wasn't my life working? What would it take to get it to work? Why could I not find happiness in relationships? Was the experience of adequate money going to elude me forever? Finally--and most emphatically--What had I done to deserve a life of such continuing struggle?

To my surprise, as I scribbled out the last of my bitter, unanswerable questions and prepared to toss my pen aside, my hand remained poised over the paper, as if held there by some invisible force. Abruptly, the pen began moving on its own. I had no idea what I was about to write, but an idea seemed to be coming, so I decided to flow with it. Out came. . . 'Do you really want an answer to all these questions, or are you just venting?'

Neale Donald Walsch, new-age guru and author of Conversations with God

That's how I talk to God; those conversations are how I pray... I was riding the train to one of my jobs and it was 40 minutes each way, and I had yellow legal pads and I just started writing the conversations that ended up in the book - just questions.

William Paul Young, author of The Shack (interviewed by Leesha McKenny in the Sydney Morning Herald today).

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Highlights of our Christmas

* Dave reading the last chapter of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever on Christmas Eve with Auntie Lois and the kids, as we ate our Gingerbread House.

* Dave's children's talk at church on Christmas morning, and Jacob leading in prayer.

* A cup of coffee made with coffee beans grown by Dave's parents after baked Christmas lunch made by Dave's mum.

* A lovely walk to Wahroonga Park with the kids and Dave's sister and brother in law. We watched the kids play and even got to talk American politics and (earlier) hear about Dave's brother-in-law's research project on the OT prohibition of interest and its implications for Christian ethics today - I love that kind of conversation!

* A BBQ lunch with my parents today, with the lots of opportunity for the kids to play with their cousin Sam in the backyard before and after.

* Watching the Boxing Day test at my parents house and playing our own game of backyard cricket in the afternoon. (I got 6 and out by hitting the ball over the fence into the neighbours' yard - and Dave managed to retrieve it with the help of a garden chair and two rakes taped together!)

* Watching old Sea Change episodes with Dave at night. There's something soothing about that show!

Here are a few photos:

The girls with the gingerbread house in Christmas Eve

Jacob reading to Auntie Lois on Christmas Eve

Climbing a tree in my parents backyard

Playing with cousin Sam...

Dave introducing Elsie to the joys of watching the Boxing Day test!

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Happy Christmas!

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Prosperity teaching without the bling

Reading through Beyond Greed in the lead up to Christmas this year has made me think again about 'prosperity teaching' and whether I'm as immune to it as I like to think I am.

When it comes dressed in full bling (eg. Brian Houston's You Need more Money, or Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now) I can see it coming a mile off and I don't have any difficulty identifying it as crassly unbiblical.

But when it comes without those trappings, I'm not so sure that I'm as good at spotting it and guarding my heart against its temptations. And yet, if Jesus says it is the 'deceitfulness' of wealth that makes it so dangerous to my perseverance and fruitfulness as a disciple, then I need to be on guard for the subtle half-truths as well as the big lie.

Here are two forms of prosperity teaching that I think I am particularly liable to being deceived by...

You can read the rest of the post at The Sola Panel.

Pic from stock.xchng.

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A nativity scene for all you knitters!!

If you're not into knitting, you probably won't be interested in this post, but I just had to show you the nativity scene my mum made this year. It's completely knitted (pattern from this book), and it's the perfect size for kids to play with as well. Mine had a ball (excuse the pun) with it today!

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Tuesday Traditions - A fun Christmas

When I originally planned to think about Christmas traditions this month, I only planned 3 posts. But then I realised that there were actually 4 Tuesdays before Christmas, which is a good thing, because I forgot another important category of traditions: the type that are just plain fun!

Here are some of the things that we like to do this time of year. I'd love to hear what you do.

Seeing 'the lights'

Many houses in our local area are decorated lavishly with lights this time of year, so we've started a tradition of bundling the kids in the car one night sometime in December and having a look. Being out after dark is half the fun for our kids, since they have parents that are normally pretty strict with bedtimes!!


Christmas craft

We always like to make Christmassy craft this time of year (although I've done less this time around with school running until last Friday). Some of our craft overlaps with some of the Christ-centred traditions, but some are just fun to make, and add a bit of Christmas 'bling' to the house.


Cooking things together

Some of our cooking has been for Christmas presents, other cooking has been for hospitality, and some has been just for fun. Here's a pic of Rebecca making some chocolate covered marshmallows, with a glace cherry on top (a Christmas treat in our family).

Reading Christmassy books

Here's a list of our favourites. We're re-reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever this year!

Gingerbread house on Christmas Eve

We obviously haven't done this one yet this year, but we always open and eat some of our gingerbread house or train the night before Christmas. Here's a pic from last year.

Now, over to you!

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Catching up

One of the best things I've found about blogging is not only the new friends I've made, but the way it helps me keep in touch with old friends who are now serving God elsewhere.

Dave and I got to catch up with our friends Rachael and Glen (and their 3 kids) tonight. Rachael also writes a blog, Storian Smol, and I love reading about her ministry as a missionary/wife/mother in the very different culture of Vanuatu. But as much as I love reading about her life, there's nothing like seeing each other in the flesh - seeing our children play together (we both have 3 at roughly the same 2 year intervals!), sitting outside while our husbands BBQ and talk, and swapping stories over a cup of tea. Won't heaven be wonderful?!

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Poetry Monday

This is the last instalment of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem called 'The Virgin Mary to the Child Jesus'. You can read the first two instalments here and here.





The Virgin Mary to the Child Jesus,
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning


XI.

And then the drear, sharp tongue of prophecy,
With the dread sense of things which shall be done,
Doth smite me inly, like a sword--a sword?--
(That "smites the Shepherd!") then I think aloud
The words "despised,"--"rejected,"--every word
Recoiling into darkness as I view
The darling on my knee.
Bright angels,--move not!--lest ye stir the cloud
Betwixt my soul and His futurity!
I must not die, with mother's work to do,
And could not live--and see.

XII.

It is enough to bear
This image still and fair--
This holier in sleep,
Than a saint at prayer:
This aspect of a child
Who never sinned or smiled--
This presence in an infant's face:
This sadness most like love,
This love than love more deep,
This weakness like omnipotence,
It is so strong to move!
Awful is this watching place,
Awful what I see from hence--
A king, without regalia,
A God, without the thunder,
A child, without the heart for play;
Ay, a Creator rent asunder
From His first glory and cast away
On His own world, for me alone
To hold in hands created, crying--Son!

XIII.

That tear fell not on Thee
Beloved, yet Thou stirrest in Thy slumber!
Thou, stirring not for glad sounds out of number
Which through the vibratory palm-trees run
From summer wind and bird,
So quickly hast Thou heard
A tear fall silently?--
Wak'st Thou, O loving One?

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From the Archives: Looking at Mary again...

I originally posted this last year, but thought I'd bring it out again...

Every year around Christmas time I try to read through the Christmas story in one of the gospels again. This year I've been reading through Luke. I love the way you are reminded of things and notice new things the more you read the Bible.

One thing I've come to notice in recent years is the role of Mary in the story as Jesus' mother. It's probably since I have been a mother myself that I've noticed her a bit more. I also remember thinking a bit about Mary last year at Christmas as I was awaiting Elsie's birth! (As an aside, the longer version is Elsie's name is "Elisabeth Mary" because she was kind of a Christmas baby, born 29 December). The other reason I think I notice her is that Luke tells the story mainly through her eyes. It seems like she must have been one of his main sources in the first two chapters of his gospel.

It would be a mistake to make Mary an object of our faith alongside or in place of Jesus (this book by Ray Galea has a chapter that gives a good summary and critique of Catholic beliefs about Mary), but in our reaction against that as evangelicals, we shouldn't throw out the encouragement that we can take from Mary as an example of faith.

The main thing I can see her doing as I've re-read Luke, is trusting God. When the angel appears to her she's 'greatly troubled', and when he tells her that she will have a child who will be the Son of God, she's confused, asking 'how can this be, since I am a virgin?' And yet, she goes on to say 'I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said'. This combination of struggle and submission seems to me to be a wonderful example of how faith in God works in the real world.

And then there's that bit in chapter 2, after the visit of the shepherds, where it says that Mary 'treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart'. Faith not only submits to God's word (even when it's a struggle) but also treasures it - and treasures what God has done, and who he is. This verse seems to me to be the quiet, intellectual, long-term, internal equivalent of the spontaneous, emotional, exuberant, outward 'rejoicing' and 'magnifying' that Mary does in her song in chapter 1; both of them are aspects of what it means to respond with genuine faith to God's word and his salvation.

I want to be a bit more like that (submitting, rejoicing, magnifying, treasuring...) in the way that I respond to God and his salvation this Christmas!

Painting is Annunciation with St. Emidius, by Carlo Crivelli, (1486)

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Psychological abuse

Apparently (according to this article in today's Sydney Morning Herald) I'm practising "psychological abuse"!

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Once in Royal David's City

Here's another musical Christmas tradition - the opening carol from the Kings College service of nine lessons and carols:

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Making presents with my girls...

We've been so busy with end of year Christmas concerts, presentation days, and other Christmas/end of year events, that I feel like we haven't had a day at home for ages. But yesterday we finally had a morning at home and the girls and I used the opportunity to make some edible Christmas presents. We made rocky road and coconut ice this year:

As you can see the girls got quite involved...

After the slices set, I put them in some noodle boxes,

...And put some tags on that the girls had made.

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Should we buy our kids presents at Christmas?

Last week, in response to my post about Santa, Cathy raised the issue of presents at Christmas:

While we are discussing the Santa issues, there is a tangential problem that has
been bugging me. Shoot me down in flames if it seems downright 'Scrooge- like'
but I'd really like to understand why we all (Western Christians) get so into
the gift giving thing at Christmas. Is it because thats just what people do? If
thats the case, isn't that quite similar for why many Christians still 'do'
Santa? I haven't begun Christmas shopping yet and I'm sure part of the
lack of motivation is not really understanding how this fits into Christmas. It
probably has a minor role but it has become central I believe to most Western
Christians 'Christmas Experience'. So while we are discussing the merits of
Santa or otherwise (does he have any merits?!!) lets think about why all the
present buying is so dominating our thoughts time and money.Obviously it doesn't
happen among many Christians in other parts of the world and even locally it
used to be much more low key (my father-in-law remembers receiving a stocking
(sock) with an orange and some nuts in it as a child).Have we yet again bought
into the world's ways? If we are giving to others as a symbol of God's love, how
does that significance come across to the recipient? Just pondering....

As Cathy says, the presents question is tangential to the Santa question, and not all of the arguments against Santa work against presents - with Santa, there's the whole deception thing for a start! But, as with Santa, if we don't think through why we are doing something and critique what's 'normal' and traditional by what the Bible says, we end up just going along with the (pagan) crowd.

I think there are legitimate reasons for us as Christian parents in a wealthy, Western context, to give our kids books, toys, clothes, sporting goods, etc (not necessarily lots of them, or expensive ones, or first hand ones). So, if present-giving at Christmas can be done in a way that doesn't grab centre stage and shift the attention away from Jesus, then I think it's not a bad thing to include gift-giving along with food and music and so on as part of how we do a celebration.

But I do think that if we keep the presents in the celebration, we need to have some disciplines and strategies for not letting the scale of the present giving get out of control, and not letting them take attention away from what Christmas is meant to be about.

Here are a few things we try to do in giving presents to our kids at Christmas:

1. Set a (lower than is culturally normal) budget and stick to it

Dave and I figure that since our kids have grandparents, uncles, aunties and friends who give them presents anyway, they don't really need us to spend a fortune on them as well. But we have decided that we would like them to receive something from us as their parents. So, we've set a present budget.

I find this is a way to test where my heart really is. Every year, I have to wrestle with feelings of wanting to spend more once I get into the shops and see all the things I could buy. But, the budget gives me a way of staying self-controlled. (It also gives me an incentive to look for second hand presents! There are some wonderful things that you can buy for kids from op-shops and on eBay etc.)

2. Don't stop thinking like a parent when you choose the presents

You don't have to give your child something just because that's what they want. By all means listen to what they like, observe what things they enjoy, but don't be held hostage to the Christmas list. You still need to make decisions based on what is best for them. (As an aside, that's the beauty of not having Santa as the kids know it is you who is deciding whether or not to give them a certain present, and you can explain the rationale for why you are/are not going to give it to them).

3. Move the presents out of the centre of the Christmas celebration

There are also choices that can be made about how 'central' presents are in the Christmas celebrations. We've decided not to put our presents under the tree so that we can avoid weeks of the kids ogling the presents and all the discussions of 'who's getting what present etc'. And on the day you can choose to open the presents in a way that shows that they are not the most important thing. One way our family used to do this was to open them after church. The first year my mum and dad announced we were doing this, my sister and I were NOT happy, but their reason was that they didn't want the presents to overshadow the real meaning. I think it worked as a strategy in our family, and I'm glad they decided to do it.

Of course, if you are going to move the presents out of the spotlight, then you'll need to fill the vacuum. That's why I think it is important to deliberately institute some fun and meaningful traditions, that point to Jesus, in our families.

Any thoughts? Do you have a policy of not giving your kids presents? I'd love to hear how that works out in practice. Or do you have other ways of shunting presents to the sidelines at Christmas? I'd love to hear them too!

Pics from stock.xchng

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A moment of clarity

I had the (inevitable?) experience of a difficult conversation with another mum from school the other day. Seems that Jacob couldn't resist the opportunity to tell her daughter that Santa wasn't real (despite the fact that we had told him not to do this).

The mother was really unhappy. I managed to get through the conversation in one piece, and through God's grace, I think the Holy Spirit gave me the right words to say to her. But after I walked away, in fact all afternoon and into the evening, I felt like I wanted to cry. I was churned up. I felt annoyed with her for humiliating me in front of all the other parents. I was annoyed that she was so, well, annoyed with me. And then there was all the worry about whether any of the other mums would like me anymore, etc etc.

That night, as we lay in bed and I had gone over it a few more times with Dave (he's very patient!!), he prayed for me, and as he prayed I had a moment of clarity. I could see that the roots of my anxiety about the situation were all based in my own pride. I could see that if I was only concerned with the name of Jesus at the school, and not my name, then I wouldn't have been upset at all! It was freeing to realise that I didn't need to worry!

The insight lasted for about two seconds, before I reverted to the same old worries. Now I need to pray that God will integrate that two seconds of insight into the way I think and feel more lastingly!

Pic from stock.xchng

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Christmas: It's all about the kiddies!

Every time I leave the house at the moment I'm getting comments like this:

"Christmas is so special when you have young kids"

"Christmas is really about the kids isn't it?"

"I'd love to rent some kids at this time of year... and then give them back".

Where do you go from there if you want to take the conversation somewhere useful (without being cheesy!)? Any suggestions?

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The local Carols by Candlelight

Here are some photos from the Carols by Candlelight held at the park at the end of our street last night. The Brethren church over our back fence have been running it there every year for the last 34 years.

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Tuesday Traditions - A Generous Christmas

So far, I've covered Christ-focussed traditions and evangelistic traditions at Christmas time. This Tuesday I want to think about traditions that encourage generosity. I think this is the trickiest area of the three, but here goes!

Giving 'gifts' to charities - eg. Operation Christmas Child

There are many charities who ask for actual gifts this time of year, which are then passed on to children who wouldn't have otherwise received a gift. We have given Operation Christmas Child boxes for the past 2 years. I'm not sure if this way of giving is the best way to support a child from a third world country - as I said last year, things like community development programmes and micro-credit schemes probably make more of a difference to people's economic and social welfare than shoeboxes with Christmas presents, and good old-fashioned church planters, pastors, evangelists and Bible translators probably contribute more to the growth of the gospel. Rachael, who works as a missionary in an area that receives these boxes, wrote a post last year about how it does work out at the receiving end - which I found fascinating.

At our end, Dave and I decided to use it as a teaching experience for our kids. It's a chance to get them to think of what another child would want for Christmas. It also raises their awareness about the existence of children in the world who have nothing, while they have plenty. We've found it very effective for the two times we've done it (although, as Rachael pointed out, this has its limitations - and I agree!).

Combining frugality with generosity

Most of us have one of two tendencies with money and possessions. The first is the tendency toward anxious hoarding and ungenerous stinginess. The second is the tendency toward reckless spending and extravagance. Real generosity - sacrificial generosity - attacks both of those tendencies, because it involves giving up some pleasure or possession or comfort for yourself AND using the money saved not to hoard but to give.

So with our kids, for example, we have been thinking that the best way to encourage them to be generous at Christmas is not to give them money they never had to earn and take them to the shops to buy presents for each other, but to help them think through something that they can put time and energy into making for each other, or something they own and love that they can give as a gift to one of their brothers or sisters.

Giving a goat, instead of ...!

There are a number of opportunities to give to aid organisations at Christmas time, like TEAR Australia's Really Useful Gift catalogue. In our materialistic society, where we already have too many things, and don't really need another... I think these are wonderful ideas.

As I pondered last year though, I think that these gift-giving schemes should be used only by 'mutual consent'. You 'call a truce' to the present giving, and decide together to give the money to charity. It doesn't seem fair to me, if I give someone a goat (which actually ends up in a village in Tanzania) when they've given me a book or a CD or some hand-cream. Megan had some similar thoughts on this last year too.

I still have a question about whether these schemes also breach the left/right hand principle Jesus talks about. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

Giving your time

Of course there are also lots of opportunities to give your time by volunteering at charitable organisations like soup kitchens. We used to know people who would go and volunteer at a soup kitchen and help serve the annual Christmas lunch to the homeless, and then have their family Christmas at night. Your church might even have chances to volunteer before Christmas day. Our previous church used to have a morning every year when a group would deliver Christmas hampers to the poor and disadvantaged in the area. People who went would always say it was a great experience for them as well - because they got a real insight into other people's lives.

Showing genuine hospitality

Christmas can be a time when we become inward focussed and ignore those who have no family. Christmas day can be very lonely if you spend it on your own. Within our own churches there will be people who have no one to spend Christmas day with. While we're all rushing off home from church to open presents and eat turkey, they are going home to an empty house.

My parents would usually invite people to our house for Christmas lunch. The actual people varied from year to year, depending on their circumstances, but it always meant a lot to them to be included, and it always enriched our Christmas day. Some years, in my teenage selfishness, I wasn't that impressed at the idea of having people around, but mum and dad helped me see how important it was to be hospitable at Christmas time. Looking back on our Christmases, I don't even remember the presents I was given, but I do remember all the people we shared Christmas dinner with. I am grateful that my parents modelled this sort of generosity to me.

Any other ideas? Please share what you do, or what you've seen others do in this area!

Pics by indieink and fe em basil on flickr.

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Poetry Monday

Last week, I introduced the first few stanzas of this poem. This is the next instalment.

The Virgin Mary to the Child Jesus,

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

V.

We sate among the stalls at Bethlehem.

The dumb kine from their fodder turning them,

Softened their horned faces

To almost human gazes

Towards the newly born.

The simple shepherds from the star-lit brooks

Brought visionary looks,

As yet in their astonished hearing rung

The strange, sweet angel-tongue.

The magi of the East, in sandals worn,

Knelt reverent, sweeping round,

With long pale beards their gifts upon the ground,

The incense, myrrh and gold,

These baby hands were impotent to hold.

So, let all earthlies and celestials wait

Upon thy royal state!

Sleep, sleep, my kingly One!

VI.

I am not proud--meek angels, ye invest
New meeknesses to hear such utterance rest
On mortal lips,--"I am not proud"--not proud!
Albeit in my flesh God sent His Son,
Albeit over Him my head is bowed
As others bow before Him, still mine heart
Bows lower than their knees. O centuries
That roll, in vision, your futurities
My future grave athwart,--
Whose murmurs seem to reach me while I keep
Watch o'er this sleep,--
Say of me as the heavenly said,--"Thou art
The blessedest of women!"--blessedest,
Not holiest, not noblest,--no high name,
Whose height misplaced may pierce me like a shame,
When I sit meek in heaven!


VII.

For me--for me--
God knows that I am feeble like the rest!--
I often wandered forth, more child than maiden,
Among the midnight hills of Galilee,
Whose summits looked heaven-laden;
Listening to silence as it seemed to be
God's voice, so soft yet strong--so fain to press
Upon my heart as heaven did on the height,
And waken up its shadows by a light,
And show its vileness by a holiness.
Then I knelt down most silent like the night,
Too self-renounced for fears,
Raising my small face to the boundless blue
Whose stars did mix and tremble in my tears.
God heard them falling after--with His dew.


VIII.

So, seeing my corruption, can I see.
This Incorruptible now born of me
This fair new Innocence no sun did chance
To shine on, (for even Adam was no child,)
Created from my nature all defiled,
This mystery from out mine ignorance--
Nor feel the blindness, stain, corruption, more
Than others do, or I did heretofore?--
Can hands wherein such burden pure has been,
Not open with the cry, "Unclean, unclean!"
More oft than any else beneath the skies?
Ah King, ah Christ, ah Son!
The kine, the shepherds, the abased wise,
Must all less lowly wait
Than I, upon thy state!--
Sleep, sleep, my kingly One!


IX.

Art Thou a King, then? Come, His universe,
Come, crown me Him a king!
Pluck rays from all such stars as never fling
Their light where fell a curse.
And make a crowning for this kingly brow!--
What is my word?--Each empyreal star
Sits in a sphere afar
In shining ambuscade:
The child-brow, crowned by none,
Keeps its unchildlike shade.
Sleep, sleep, my crownless One!


X.

Unchildlike shade!--no other babe doth wear
An aspect very sorrowful, as Thou.--
No small babe-smiles, my watching heart has seen,
To float like speech the speechless lips between;
No dovelike cooing in the golden air,
No quick short joys of leaping babyhood.
Alas, our earthly good
In heaven thought evil, seems too good for Thee:
Yet, sleep, my weary One!

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Jauchzet, frohlocket

Last week I shared a You Tube clip from Messiah. This week it's from Bach's Christmas Oratorio (another one of our CDs that comes out at this time of the year!).

'Jauchzet, frohlocket' is the opening chorus of Bach's Cantata BWV 248.I, which is the first part of the Christmas Oratorio. In the tasteful, understated musical language of the eighteenth century, I reckon this is about as close as you get to exuberance!

The English translation (courtesy of a helpful guy at the University of Vermont) goes something like this:

Triumph, rejoicing, rise, praising these days now,
Tell ye what this day the Highest hath done!
Fear now abandon and banish complaining,
Join, filled with triumph and gladness, our song!

Serve ye the Highest in glorious chorus,
Let us the name of our ruler now honor!

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Looking down, not up!

There's an old proverb that Dave's mum used to quote to him when he was growing up. It went like this: I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

A similar thought (though a little less extreme!) hit me a few years ago as I was sitting in a Bible study group. Somehow, instead of thinking about the passage in front of me, I got distracted and found myself looking at some particularly nice shoes that a couple of the women in the group (married to well-paid professionals) were wearing. I've always had a 'thing' for shoes, and these ones were very nice. I can't remember what they looked like now, but I can tell you that it only took a few minutes to convince myself that I really needed a pair of shoes just like them.

But then my eyes wandered across to some of the other shoes in the room and I noticed that some of the other women (who, as it happened, were married to Bible college students) were wearing shoes that looked like they had seen better days. They were worn, scratched, and out of fashion. I looked down at mine. Perhaps mine weren't the newest and most fashionable in the room, but they were certainly adequate. In fact, all of a sudden, they looked a whole lot more than adequate.

I remember realising with an unpleasant jolt how instinctively I gravitated toward comparing myself with those with more money than me, not less. I wasn't looking at the women in the group who were making sacrificial decisions with their money and wanting to be like them. I was wanting to run in the other direction.

Needless to say, I didn't go out and buy that pair of shoes! But it's easy to slip into old habits of thinking. Sometimes it's something as 'innocuous' as a new pair of shoes; other times it can be on a whole different level. When the family next door (with two children) extended their home recently, I started to wonder if our family (with three children) should follow suit. After all, surely we would need more space too, since they obviously needed it so badly. Then I remembered some friends with four children, who live in a flat half the size of our house and not only survive, but have made it into a welcoming home.

All this came back to me recently when I read an old Briefing article by Sandra King called Not Keeping up with the Joneses - the Christian Practice of becoming Poor (reprinted in Beyond Greed):

Contentment is something to pray for and to learn (Php 4:11). Instead of letting our eyes glance longingly towards what our neighbour has (and why do we only ever compare ourselves with our wealthy neighbour and not our poor neighbour?), we should set our eyes on the Kingdom of God. Instead of setting our hearts on treasures that rust and rot, we should set our hearts on the treasures of heaven (Matt 6:19-21).

She then goes on to provide some helpful and practical suggestions for ways to become purposefully poorer, in imitation of Jesus.

Pics from stock.xchng.

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Another poem: Jerusalem Widow

Here's a poem I wrote after reading the story of Anna in Luke 2.

Jerusalem Widow
Luke 2:36-38, Lamentations 1:1-2, Isaiah 54:1-4

Married seven short years,
Jerusalem widow
alone and childless,
makes the temple her home.

She does not know
the chatter of children
squeezed around
a table filled with food.
Just the hard knot of hunger,
fasting day and night.

She has no comfort
in the night.
No warm arms
slipped around her belly
as she sleeps.
Instead, she weeps into the dark,
And waits a lifetime.

But when a baby comes
one ordinary day,
She knows.
Her wait is over.
She takes the baby,
and holds him.

Jerusalem widow
(like widow Jerusalem)
cradling salvation in her arms.


Arent de Gelder 1645 – 1727, Simeon and Anna Praise the infant Jesus,
oil on canvas (94 × 107 cm) — c. 1700
Mauritshuis, The Hague

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Creation, Christ and Gender

A few weeks ago, a friend asked in the comment thread if I could elaborate on this brief post about why I found John Piper's talk from the True Woman conference so helpful.

I took a while to get around to it, but have finally managed to sit down and pull my thoughts together!

When I first started (re)thinking what the Bible says about gender differences and roles, I remember being struck by the way that the key NT texts (eg. Eph 5, 1 Cor 11, 1 Tim 2) in each case tie the instructions they give about how we are to live as men and women to Genesis 1-2 and the way God made us - in his image, male and female, for one-flesh union in marriage, the man first and the woman as his helper, and so on. I still think this is really important - the NT verses about men and women are not just arbitrary rules or reactions to unique first-century circumstances, but are grounded in the way that God has made us.

But the John Piper talk helped me see how important it is that there is something even more fundamental than Creation - deeper magic from before the dawn of time!!! Before there was creation there was God's eternal plans and purposes to sum up everything in Christ, and to glorify Christ as the redeemer and husband of his people. It wasn't that God made us male and female, then decided some time later that marriage would be a good way to order our sexuality, then some time later thought that marriage might be a good metaphor for Christ and the church. No - according to Eph 5:32, "Christ and the church" is (ultimately, eternally) what marriage is for and about.

This doesn't mean that creation, marriage, sex and so on are not real or not important, in and of themselves. They are not "just" symbols and signs of something else. But they are part of a universe in which everything is created "by him [Christ] and for him".

So it's not enough just to get the "creation" foundations of my understanding of what it means for me to be a woman. I also need to keep a "Christ" focus in understanding what the purpose of my womanhood is. That means that my practice of marriage, family, etc is not just about looking backward to the way God made us in creation but looking forward (and further back!) to what God's Christ-centred purposes are for everything that he has made.

That's why (I think!) it's not enough for me to keep thinking about "motherhood" without thinking about "missional motherhood" - not mission as an alternative to motherhood or motherhood as an escape from mission, but motherhood (and womanhood more generally) as something that was created for the glory of God in Christ and to serve God's mission in the world.

Pics from stock.xchng

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Tuesday Traditions - An evangelistic Christmas

Last week I kicked off this series by suggesting and asking for some Christ-focussed traditions. This week, I want to move on to traditions that have an evangelistic focus. Christmas is a great time of year to get to know our non-Christian neighbours, friends and families better because it's such a 'social' time of year. In Australia the weather is heating up, the days are longer, people are getting outside, having BBQs, relaxing and having longer conversations.

It's also a great time to talk about Jesus!

The street party

A few commenters have already suggested the idea of the 'street party'. This may be more of an Australian tradition this time of year - or at least Southern hemisphere. Basically, you block off the street and all the neighbours get together and have a Christmas party. I did a bit of research with another mum from school who lives in a local street renowned for their street parties, and she said that it was surprisingly easy to organise (in our local council area anyway!). You just have to get everyone on the street to sign a document that they are happy for the street to be blocked off and the council will block it off for you. Then send out the invites!

If you live in a flat, you could do what my sister and her husband did last year, and organise a Christmas party for your block of flats. You can read all about how they went about it here.

The Christmas evangelistic 'event'

As many churches do this time of year, our local Anglican church (next door to Jacob's school and which runs the preschool Rebecca attends) ran a Gingerbread House night. This one worked well as an evangelistic event because it flowed out of a number of networks in which people from the church had been evangelising all year around (eg. the preschool and the local public school). Unlike a number of evangelistic events I have attended over the years, this meant that the group had a large number of non-Christians. It was also well planned:

- they had a talk about Jesus' kingship which fitted in well with the theme of the night, and didn't seem like a strange, awkward 'add-on' to the event.
- they made sure the talk happened up front while the women were still listening and hadn't started assembling their houses;
- there were a lot of kids there and they were well taken care of. They were given their own gingerbread house activity to do in another area (made with 100s and 1000s biscuits) - this was done really well, and wasn't just a matter of 'getting them out of the way'.
- they planned the seating so we sat with our natural 'networks' - so I was at a table with the other school mums.

Obviously there are many other possibilities this time of year, carols nights, Christmas concerts etc. I would love to hear what your church does, particularly if it has worked well.

I'm painfully aware this isn't a 'strength area' for me. Do you have Christmas traditions that you do that are evangelistic in focus? Please share them with us!

Pic 1 by Aggleton
Pic 2 by Carrievision on Flickr

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When an 'S' marries an 'N'

I'm an ISFJ, Dave is an INTJ. It's the 'S' and 'N' on the scale that makes life the most interesting for us. Here's a little recent example:

After spending a morning shopping for Christmas presents the other day, I still didn't know what to buy Elsie. She's the third child so we already have a lot of toys in the house suitable for a 2 year old. Plus she tends to just want to do what the older two are doing. So, as Dave was pulling up weeds in the garden that afternoon, I sat down and and shared my 'dilemma' and asked him what he thought I should buy her.

His response? He formulated a principle of how to buy all future presents for her as the third child - let's call it the 'third child theory'. I won't go into all the details, but it was impressive. But it still left me asking at the end, "Yes, but what should I buy her this year?", to which Dave replied, "I've got no idea!"

We're good for each other.

Pic from stock.xchng

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Poetry Monday

The poem I've chosen for today is new to me. I haven't got my head around it all yet, but she had me hooked by the second line. I'll post it in three parts over the next three Mondays.

The Virgin Mary to the Child Jesus,
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I.

Sleep, sleep, mine Holy One!
My flesh, my Lord!--what name? I do not know
A name that seemeth not too high or low,
Too far from me or heaven.
My Jesus, that is best! that word being given
By the majestic angel whose command
Was softly as a man's beseeching said,
When I and all the earth appeared to stand
In the great overflow
Of light celestial from his wings and head.
Sleep, sleep, my saving One!

II.

And art Thou come for saving, baby-browed
And speechless Being--art Thou come for saving?
The palm that grows beside our door is bowed
By treadings of the low wind from the south,
A restless shadow through the chamber waving:
Upon its bough a bird sings in the sun;
But Thou, with that close slumber on thy mouth,
Dost seem of wind and sun already weary.
Art come for saving, O my weary One?

III.

Perchance this sleep that shutteth out the dreary
Earth-sounds and motions, opens on Thy soul
High dreams on fire with God;
High songs that make the pathways where they roll
More bright than stars do theirs; and visions new
Of Thine eternal nature's old abode.
Suffer this mother's kiss,
Best thing that earthly is,
To guide the music and the glory through,
Nor narrow in Thy dream the broad upliftings
Of any seraph wing!
Thus, noiseless, thus. Sleep, sleep, my dreaming One!

IV.

The slumber of His lips meseems to run
Through my lips to mine heart; to all its shiftings
Of sensual life, bring contrariousness
In a great calm. I feel, I could lie down
As Moses did, and die,¹ --and then live most.
I am 'ware of you, heavenly Presences,
That stand with your peculiar light unlost,
Each forehead with a high thought for a crown,
Unsunned i' the sunshine! I am 'ware. Yet throw
No shade against the wall! How motionless
Ye round me with your living statuary,
While through your whiteness, in and outwardly,
Continual thoughts of God appear to go,
Like light's soul in itself! I bear, I bear,
To look upon the dropt lids of your eyes,
Though their external shining testifies
To that beatitude within, which were
Enough to blast an eagle at his sun.
I fall not on my sad clay face before ye;
I look on His. I know
My spirit which dilateth with the woe
Of His mortality,
May well contain your glory.
Yea, drop your lids more low,
Ye are but fellow-worshippers with me!
Sleep, sleep, my worshipped One!

1. It is a Jewish tradition that Moses died of the kisses of God's lips.

Pic from allposters.com

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From the Archives: About Santa

This is an old post of mine from last year that I've linked to already this week. In what's becoming a bit of a Sunday tradition, I'm re-posting it today:

I've been involved in a few conversations lately (it being the Christmas season and all) about Santa. Should Christians have Santa as part of their Christmas? And if you don't, what do you do about family members who would rather you did - and (here is something I haven't fully confronted yet), how do you make sure your kids don't tell everyone else's kids that he's not real? So, I thought I might share what we do in our family and some useful things I've heard from other mums in the hope that it might be helpful to at least some of you!

Dave and I have decided not to 'do Santa Claus' in our family. While our immediate families are understanding (which I admit does make the decision easier), our extended families and most of the rest of our society are pretty horrified at the thought that you would be denying yours kids so much pleasure at this time of the year. So why don't we just go with the flow? Isn't he just a bit of harmless fun? I don't think he is. And here's why:

1. Talking about Santa and Jesus as part of the same celebration is confusing for kids. Noel Piper puts this well in Treasuring God in our Traditions:

Think how confusing it must be to a literal-thinking, uncritical pre-schooler. Santa is so much like what we're trying all year to teach our children about God. Look at the "attributes" of Santa:

• He's omniscient - he sees everything you do.
• He rewards you if you're good.
• He's omnipresent - at least, he can be everywhere in one night.
• He gives you good gifts.
• He's the most famous "old man in the sky" figure.

But at the deeper level that young children can't comprehend yet, he is not like God at all. For example, does Santa really care if we're bad or good? Think of the most awful kid you can remember. Did he or she ever not get gifts from Santa? What about Santa's spying and then rewarding you if you're good enough? That's not the way God operates. He gave us his gift- his Son- even though we weren't good enough at all.

2. I can see that you could do Santa in a way that acknowledged he was pretend. But if you do the whole 'shebang' and do Santa properly - eg. pretend he is real, put the lettuce leaves out for the reindeer, a cup of tea (or something stronger), Christmas cake and of course the stocking for Santa, I can't see a way to do that without well, um, lying to them. I think this is a big issue in itself and yet strangely, not one that is often addressed when thinking through the Santa vs no Santa question.

3. While Santa seems harmless enough, he is actually representative of a set of values that is in direct opposition to what we as Christians would want to teach our kids at Christmas. The original St Nicholas had a lot of good points (see this Titus2Talk post from Christmas last year if you're interested). But the modern caricature symbolises something different. I think it is very fitting that the image we see of him now, actually came out of a Coca Cola advertising campaign from the 1930s. What Santa represents is really just materialism when it comes down to it - prosperity gospel for kids. If you're good - you'll get presents. This isn't just an add on to the Christmas message - it completely contradicts it. In Jesus being sent to earth as a baby, illegitimate, with no place to be born into the world - we see a God who chooses to work in the lowly things of this earth, and comes to save not the righteous but sinners.

So, how do you NOT do Santa in our society? The best approach we've heard from our friends seems to be a) tell them Santa's a pretend game that some families play but b) teach your kids not to ruin it for everyone else by telling them that. If people ask what Santa gave them, they tell them what they were given by their parents and leave it at that. And they don't say anything when kids talk about him. Sounds hard, but I think this is a good exercise in teaching them that living as Christians will mean being different from those around you.*

And the other thing I think is important, is to be as creative and fun as you can in the way you celebrate Christmas without Santa. I don't think the way to not do Santa is to take all the joy out of Christmas - it's to focus the joy on Jesus - our Saviour. What could be more exciting?

* Sheryl and Rowena have some good thoughts on this point in response to the original post.

And Wendy also wrote a post about Santa this year that is worth a read.

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But who may abide

One thing that Dave and I usually do about this time of the year is get out our CD of Handel's Messiah (along with a few other seasonal favourites). Here's one of my favourite sopranos, Emma Kirkby, singing an aria from it called "But who may Abide". It captures really powerfully (eg. at the 1:35 min and the 3 min marks) the way Jesus comes as something a whole lot more scary and serious than simply the harmless baby in the manger.

Enjoy!

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Visiting with kids

I took Rebecca and Elsie to visit an elderly friend (who lives in a small apartment in a retirement village) the other day. This is always a delight, but it is a complicated operation - at least, the way I do it it is! I like to be prepared, and I learn from my mistakes (I could tell some stories!!) so this is what I took with me this time, apart from the usual handbag, nappy bag, etc:

* morning tea for grown ups and kids;
* various books for the girls to read;
* magnetic 'dress up' game;
* pencils (note pencils, NOT textas) to draw with;
* paper to draw on with said pencils;
* a tablecloth for girls to sit on while eating. (True confession: I did consider packing the dustbuster, but the tablecloth idea worked like a charm!)

So here's my question: what tips have you learnt for how to visit elderly people with small children in tow?

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The city cathedral

Here's a quote to think about while you do your Christmas shopping!

The modern day equivalent of the city cathedral is the major shopping mall. The centre of the community in every sense, such complexes are admired for their huge, costly edifices and their awe inspiring architecture, which often includes an aesthetically pleasing internal space made of glass and stone. They are visited by 'pilgrims' from across the country and sometimes even from overseas. Visitors spend hours in such places (not to mention loads of money), drinking in the experience of being overwhelmed by the variety and beauty of the goods on offer before returning to their local shopping centres and their everyday lives the better for it. (Beyond Greed, by Brian Rosner, p. 50)

Pic is from Wikipedia Commons, and is of Chatstone Shopping Centre (largest in Australia).

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Thinking about Greed at Christmas

Yesterday, I had a conversation with the woman serving us at the local fruit shop. She started the conversation by asking Rebecca about what she was asking for from Santa this year (our poor kids are never quite sure what to say in response to that question!). Then we moved on to talking about how busy the shops are and how nobody wants to venture into them this time of year. As I handed over the money and said goodbye to her, she shook her head and said to me: "It's just so silly isn't it? It's just a silly time of year".

As I walked away I thought about what she said. She was right in being incredulous about the frenzied atmosphere that lasts all through December. It is silly! As we walked past the flashing lights and tinsel and pictures of Santa, I thought about the way my culture celebrates Christmas. It has become a time to worship the true God of our society: money. And then as I thought about my Christmas shopping this year (I haven't even started yet!), I wondered again about how I should be celebrating Christmas in the context of such affluence and excess. Should I be even buying presents? And if I do buy some, how many is enough? And then there's the even bigger question: how do I live as a Christian all year round, in a greedy society, without falling into the trap of worshipping money myself?

So, although I'll do a bit of thinking about traditions once more this year, I've decided to focus mainly on thinking through some of these questions to do with money, possessions, generosity and greed. To help me do this, I'm planning on reading through Beyond Greed, by Brian Rosner. It's not a comfortable book to read at Christmas time in Sydney. But I think that this time of year, when the consumerism of our culture reaches a peak, is a good time to do some thinking about whether we're worshipping God or money. I'm not sure yet where this journey will take me, but I'd love your thoughts and comments along the way!

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Meanwhile, over at Jean's blog...

...a few of us have been chatting in a comment thread about the "balance" (if that's the right word!) between caring for a family and outward looking ministry, inside and outside the home. Feel free to join in the conversation!

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Tuesday Traditions - A Christ focussed Christmas

A few years ago, Dave bought me a book by Noel Piper called Treasuring God in our Traditions that transformed my thinking about traditions. As I wrote last year in a review of this book:

Piper’s interest in the ‘traditions’ of families is not really about the cuteness or the warm nostalgic glow they can create; what she is chiefly interested in is the way they can serve the larger task of “laying up God’s words in our hearts and passing his words to the next generation” (p. 26). She writes with warmth and urgency about the importance of developing everyday habits and ways of marking special occasions that communicate to the children growing up within a family that the God of the gospel is at the centre of the family’s life.

This book convinced me that traditions could be tools to teach our children about the gospel we believe in. As well as helping me to think about how to structure the patterns of my everyday life as a Christian, it inspired me to be more deliberate in the way we celebrate occasions like Christmas in our family.

When we got married, I vaguely knew that we wouldn't celebrate Christmas in quite the same way as our non-Christian neighbours. I knew that we probably wouldn't have Santa (and we don't, as I wrote last year). I knew that we didn't want it to be all about the presents. But I hadn't thought through how to make our family Christmas distinctive and special because of the things we did, as opposed to the things we didn't do.

Last year I asked you to email me with traditions that your family practices and got some great responses. This year, I thought I'd break it up a bit more and ask you to comment instead. Here are the categories of 'tradition' I'm thinking of:

Christ-focussed traditions - because we need to get the focus off Santa and onto Jesus.

Generous traditions - because we need to think of ways to counteract the outrageous greed and consumerism that Christmas is awash with and fight back with counter-cultural generosity

Evangelistic traditions - because celebrating Jesus' birth ought to spill over into proclaiming Jesus, and because the Christmas season gives us some unique (though not uncomplicated!) opportunities to do this

So, today, I'm going to start with some Christ-focussed traditions, then hand it over to you:

Advent calendars/Jesse trees:

I've already written about these last week, but you might be interested in looking at the way Wendy has put hers together. You might also be interested in this set of Advent 'devotionals' written by Christ the King Presbyterian Church (HT: Justin Taylor). Like Carmelina's it includes singing and prayers - it even includes the sheet music you'll need!

Acting out the story:

We find that acting out a story from a part of the Bible helps cement it in the kids' minds - and the Christmas story is no exception.

Decorations, drawings etc, that focus on the Christmas story (ie. NOT Santa!):

Last year we made some beaded decorations that were shaped as angels and (at Rebecca's suggestion) Mary. Our friends made these ones, which are more impressive.

Another simple idea is to make a nativity scene with your kids. I made a simple one with my preschool Sunday school class last Sunday. They each made one, with a small cardboard box, toilet roll Mary and Josephs, and baby Jesus in an egg carton manger. We stuck some animals to the walls and raffia to the floor and voila!

You could also do things like ask your kids to draw pictures of the Christmas story, particularly after you've read them a part of it. Laura provided a good example of this last year, when she sent in an example of a picture by her son that they turned into Christmas cards.

Make Christmas crackers with Bible verses in them:

Caroline provided some instructions last year for how to make your own Christmas crackers! You can customise them, and include Bible verses this way. I made some (using her instructions) last year with the older two kids, and it was a great activity to do with them.

A birthday cake for Jesus:

Jen suggested this last year and we've tried it a couple of times on the day. It helps the kids understand that we're celebrating a 'birthday', and it's also good if they don't like pudding!

Reading through a part of the Bible, or a Christ-focussed book:

I think it's also a good idea to use Christmas as an opportunity to remind ourselves (the grown ups), of the wonder of the incarnation of Jesus. You could read through a book about Jesus, or go for the simple approach and read through a gospel. This year, I'm intending to read through Luke, using Rachael's posts at EQUIP book club. I've seen the first few already, and they are excellent - including posts explaining and raising questions from the passages as well as more reflective posts. She has included a list of readings in pdf form that you can download if you want to read along with us!

And Tulip Girl has already done some thinking about some helpful Christ-focussed traditions that are worth a look.

Other ideas? It doesn't matter if it's something that's been said. It's just nice to hear what other people do!

Pics up the top and bottom are from istockphoto.com. The photo of Rebecca with the Christmas tree was taken on Sunday.

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Poetry Monday

I promised a December series that was "Christmassy, but not too corny". The obvious candidate, T.S. Eliot's Ariel poems, was already spoken for, since I used them last Christmas.

So I decided this week to go with a poem from Ali's favourite poet, Christina Rossetti. For mine, the second last line is a bit limp and the third last line kinda Christmas-cardy, but all that that can forgiven a thousand times over for the sake of the second stanza!

In the bleak midwinter

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, Whom cherubim, worship night and day,
A breast full of milk, and a manger full of hay;
Enough for Him, Whom angels fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

* It's also had music written for it, and is sung as a hymn.


*Pic from istockphoto.com

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