Six months ago, Dave and I changed our morning routine. Previously, we had tried various strategies for daily prayer and Bible reading, fitting them around work and children into the cracks and crevices of the day. For me, this meant when the children were resting, or otherwise occupied, or asleep at night. Some of these strategies worked better than others. Finally, though, when none of these cleverer approaches delivered the constistency and quality of time that we needed, we decided to bite the bullet and go back to the old-fashioned, unoriginal approach: we would simply take turns to for each of us to look after the kids in the morning while the other shut the bedroom door and spent some decent time alone in Bible reading and prayer.To start with, it gave me pangs of guilt. I often feel a little self-indulgent taking some precious time to go off on my own to read the Bible and pray, when there's so much other Martha-stuff that needs doing around the house. But now there was the added guilt that came with the fact I was so brazenly shutting the door in the children's faces and choosing Bible reading and prayer over extra time with them. It felt almost cruel, especially when there were tears being shed on the other side of the door!
Then the other morning we got a first glimpse of the kindness in the cruelty. Dave was about to go and read his Bible and Jacob announced that he wanted to read his Bible too. So, he went to his room with his Bible and shut the door. He was still reading when I got back from my walk 20 minutes later (and announced to me that he had read 'Adonijah makes himself king' and 'The plan to kill Jesus').
Jacob reads books all the time, and enjoys reading his Bible, but it was the door-shutting that made this time stand out, and reminded me of how much our actions and routines communicate to our children. Of course, early mornings and door-shutting are not the only way to achieve the same result (or to communicate the same message) - Susannah Wesley famously managed to do it with an apron over the head! But in our case I'm thankful for this accidental lesson taught to the kids, and I'm starting to feel a little less guilty in the mornings when the door clicks shut and I experience my tiny, daily taste of Luke 14:26.
10 comments:
Thanks Nic, this is gold.
How awesome is God!
When we honour him by doing his good, even though it is uncomfortable or even tear inducing, he blesses it. In this case very tangibly and visibly.
Ally <'v'>
So encouraging when we see good fruit in their lives!
One of the stories Heather shared with me the other day was something her boys said to her in answer to the question "what did we do right / wrong in our parenting?" One of the "right" things that stood out for them was how, once a week, their Dad would get them ready for school in the morning, while their Mum sat in the hall and prayed with another woman on the phone. It made a deep, positive impression on them. I remember watching my mum reading the Bible at the time each day, and it's absolutely foundational to me. So keep it up!
Yes, I am slowly teaching my kids that if they come out of their rooms before 7am (other than to go to the loo) the only thing they can do is pick up one of the children's Bibles I get them from the shelf next to me and join me at the table, reading the Bible.
~ Sharon
It's a great lesson, isn't it? I still remember noticing my Mum disappearing about the time Playschool was on when we were kids, and always finding her on her bed, reading the Bible or praying. Modelling is a wonderful tool even when we don't realise it.
I do my Bible reading online at the moment, and although it's been the best way at the moment, I do worry that my kids just think I'm playing on the computer again and not see me value regular Bible reading.
Bec
Hi from WTBAY!
I don't have kids and I live alone, but I find the "shutting the door" thing helpful just for myself. My house has interesting and fun things in it and I'm easily distracted, so sometimes I need to shut myself away to spend time with God. I guess I'm modelling it to myself! :D
I've also discovered your blog from WTBAY and want to thank you for sharing your insights and experiences with us. Like femina, I don't have a husband or family, but still need to "shut the door" on other distractions.
I think what really stands out here is that kids learn the most from consistent behaviours of their parents... <><
Congrats on your WTBAY feature day.
Anytime tht you can be alone with your thoughts is a good thing, and teaching children the value of respecting privacy is always good.
Hello Nicole, popping in to meet you from WTBAY. :)
Hope you have a lovely evening. ;)
Welcome to the visitors from WTBAY! It's lovely to 'meet' you.
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