Yesterday was 'Harmony Day' at Jacob's school (it's normally celebrated on 21 March, but that was Good Friday this year, so the celebrations were postponed to yesterday). The aim of the day is to be a celebration of the many different cultures that live here, and of the harmony with which they live (or are meant to live!) alongside each other.For Jacob's school, the festivities included a day of performances (Jacob's somewhat wearied summation of the day for us over dinner was, "Performance, performance, performance, performance...") and a multicultural lunch. Each family was to bring along a plate of food representative of their culture. As with most things at the school, I'm still finding my feet and I wasn't quite sure what we were to bring. It couldn't be refrigerated food because the only fridge available was the bar fridge in the staff room, and as for 'Aussie' food, all I could think of was vegemite sandwiches. But when I got to Assembly on Tuesday and a) heard the Principal telling the kids that their mums should be 'staying up until midnight cooking for the lunch' and b) seeing the look on a fellow mother's face when I mentioned my idea of the sandwiches, I knew that I would have to rethink this. So, (although I REALLY didn't have the time because Tuesdays are a shocker for the Starling family), I somehow managed to bake some Pumpkin scones that afternoon while preparing dinner. (We explained to Jacob that Pumpkin scones are a traditional delicacy in Queensland, which is still part of Australia...)
When Jacob came out of his classroom in the afternoon he was carrying the container of Pumpkin scones - still almost completely full. With a look of disappointment he handed them over and said, "They didn't like them much, mum." I looked around. The other mums were looking at me awkwardly. Another mum proudly announced that most of her food was gone. One little boy headed off dejectedly with a plate full of delicious looking Danish pastries (which made me feel better because maybe it wasn't my pumpkin scones that were the problem but the fact that the kids didn't know good food when they saw it).
As we started to walk home, I started to wonder if I was the only one who had felt the weight of competition once again. But as we crossed the road I heard another mum behind me ask her daughter, "Who brought the best food?" I went home, tired and emotional, and once I'd given the kids their afternoon tea I rang Dave and cried over the phone about the way I had wasted my effort and let Jacob down by failing to produce the most popular plate of Harmony Day food.
Ironic, really! 'Harmony Day' as an occasion for such fierce competition and uncharitable thoughts. Perhaps it was a tiny example of the deep-rooted sin in our hearts (mine included!) that requires more than just a little social engineering and multicultural food to overcome.
9 comments:
Perhaps if all the competition was driven by the school principal, there should be a letter going to the principal, outlining that competition such as was produced is not particularly harmonising. How ridiculous to have such a result for Harmony Day.
Well, I think pumpkin scones sounds yummy, so you can make some for me anytime :) - but I'm not 5 I guess. Something artificially coloured and intensely sugary is probably 5 year old bliss - especially without someone like mum or dad there to encourage the kids to try new things. I can imagine that with the younger kids, trying new foods probably goes down like a lead balloon, so making all the different foods is probably better for upper primary ANYWAY. The principal's comment about staying up to midnight sounds ill advised. I'm just starting to get the first whiffs of this competitive mum culture with Sparky starting preschool. As you say, I'll have to tell myself to be a person of grace instead!!!
Hmmm, trying not to be furious about it all....
I'm with Prue. I do think that a carefully constructed letter to the Principal may help. It would be difficult for him/her and other teachers to know what effect his/her words, and the general tone of the day would have on the kids and their families when they've gone home. I wonder if the "performances, performances, performances" might have also contributed to the competition. "Whose was the funniest/the best?" I imagine.
But I'm also not exposed to any of this school stuff, so this may not be good advice, I'm not sure.
I'm sorry harmony day wasn't what it could have (or should have) been for you and Jacob. I understand that deep down you wanted to be "great" for his sake. It's hard to work through those I-let-him/her-down feelings. Well, I can think of at least two good outcomes: 1) you were able to enjoy the pumpkin scones with your family, and 2) you'll be ready to encourage next year's batch of new school moms on harmony day.
Surely Cheezles would have been the best option!
That's genuine Aussie food, kindy kids love them, and they won't keep you up till midnight to cook - Woolies shuts at 10pm!
And surely the principal was joking? I hope!
Maybe I am one of those 'I don't give a stuff, i know I'm great' people, but you, Nic, are a wonderful woman, and a fantastic Mum, so don't let the turkeys get you down... ; )
What a heart-breaking story! Competition is one of the reasons I hated school for 13 years, and if this is in any way representative — and given Sydney's vanity, it wouldn't surprise me — it sounds like it's going to bite me again. Bizarre kind of bullying of the parents, playing on everyone's insecurities.
I'd write a letter, too, I think.
Meanwhile, my self-defence mechanism threw up two things as I empathized with your situation:
(1) My aunt, who is an excellent cook but no baker, got to a point where she would bring a plate of store-bought chocolate biscuits to such events. (It takes some nerve to do this at the kind of school we attended!) She maintained that hers was always the first place emptied. And it's not like you can buy Tim Tams in France!
(2) I was obsessed with Howard Jones when I was a child (and, okay, some of that has lasted). He has a song called 'Specialty', which includes lines that always resonated with me:
Who wants to compare, / As if this was a competition? / Leave that to teachers at school / Who must preserve their tradition. / About time you realized / You are a specialty: / There is no one like you.
I never believed I was 'a specialty', but I always loved the cynicism about school :)
Thanks everyone for the free therapy and the affirmation!
I should clarify that it really wasn't mainly about the Principal's comments - my overtiredness and my own competitive spirit played a pretty big part in how I perceived the whole experience. Some of the more experienced and wiser mums (with kids in older classes) were sensible enough to send along things like jatz and fruit. I wish I'd spoken to them on Tuesday!
I LOVE pumpkin scones! One day the kids will grow up and they will too. Lamingtons are always a good Australian food (aren't they?) - not that I actually want to MAKE lamingtons these days. On Australia day at the church I had visited someone had made lamingtons in the shape of Australia - I was impressed! (But this is really not helpful is it?! :) - and you WOULD have to stay up till midnight to do such a thing.)
Lamingtons in the shape of Australia?? There's no way I'm attempting that! :)
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