Reflecting on 2007 - Pt 1

I'm planning on doing two or three posts on 2007 - what I've been learning etc, before moving on to my new year's resolutions. For my first post, the obvious starting point would be the arrival of little Elsie. She was the biggest change for me and my family in 2007 - and it was very appropriate that we brought this gorgeous little blessing home on New Year's Eve last year. As I look back on the last year, I can see so many things that God has been teaching me through her arrival in our family - here are just a few...

1) Reliance on him

I adored Elsie from the moment I laid eyes on her (actually before that as well!) and we were so thrilled that it was God's plan to give her to our family. At the same time, I found the transition from 2 to 3 kids the hardest ever for a few reasons that I can think of - to summarise them quickly - first, she cried A LOT and didn't sleep much (a change from the first two!). Second, we were in the middle of upheaval in other areas of our life since Dave was changing jobs from being a pastor at PBC to being a theological lecturer which meant a new house, new area, new role for me (not being the 'pastor's wife' anymore), and we were still looking for a new church. Not to mention the fact that I was really missing our old church and we missed out on the famous PBC meals roster, which keeps a family with a newborn going for meals for 6 weeks last time I checked! Thirdly, it's just plain maths - three kids is more than two parents, and having an extra meant it made everything more challenging (as a friend recently described it - you have to play 'zone defence', rather than 'man on man').

All this meant that I was reminded again that I can't do things in my own strength. I don't like feeling like a failure, and I found the fact that I didn't have a clue what to do to settle my third baby very humbling (I mean, wasn't I supposed to know what I was doing by now?). But by highlighting my weaknesses, God was being very kind. I started reading my Bible and praying more regularly than I have in years - out of pure necessity - I needed him. I also discovered the world of Christian blogs - many of which were a huge encouragement to me - particularly those of mothers with more kids than me...but that's another story...

2) Getting organised and being more deliberate in my parenting

On a more 'human' level - I learned how to get a bit more organised. With three little ones, I soon discovered that I needed to be even more rigid in routine and planning in order to survive. This year has definitely been the year of planning my weeks out in detail, structuring my days, planning meals well in advance...you get the picture. Reading this book (which I've mentioned before!) also helped me in this area!

A side effect of this is that I've realised that people can change. If you had told me a year ago that I would have been planning my meals out at the beginning of the week - I think I would have laughed because I've never been like that before. But I've learned that God gives you strength to change your behaviours as new challenges arise.

I also found that it was even more vital to have control over my children's behaviour. I've always believed that I need to teach my children to obey, but now it was an absolute necessity. Suddenly, I didn't have enough arms to protect them in every situation for a start... I've still got a long, long way to go, but I think I'm a bit more deliberate than I was a year ago.

3) Awareness of ungodly attitudes towards children/larger families

Having three under school age has meant that I was suddenly confronted by people's prejudices against having a lot of kids (of course, we don't actually have a lot of kids - but it seems like in our culture 2 kids is perceived as the right time to stop, especially if you have the magic girl-boy combination). I could hardly leave the house in the first 6 months without someone saying 'wow, you've got your hands full', 'you've got three at home!!!' etc). Occasionally, it would be said as a positive, sometimes with distaste, more often with a tone of incredulity - like I was doing something that was actually impossible and someone must have forgotten to inform me of that!

Being confronted with this, I realised what it must be like for those who actually do have a large family, and it also made me realise that I harboured some of the same opinions deep down. I thought that it was a little crazy to have three under school age and I planned to avoid that situation thankyouverymuch! I realise now that my attitudes were ungodly and that God sent me this precious gift of Elsie to teach me a few things about them!

I guess the thing that all these points have in common, is that God has been teaching me I still have a lot to learn. He is a loving God who knows what is best and has been by his grace enabling me to see some of these areas. It makes me realise that there must be a lot more dark areas in my life that need a spotlight put on them as well!

Poetry Monday

Because it's New Year's Eve...

Ring Out, Wild Bells
by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

Year's End

O LOVE BEYOND COMPARE,
Thou art good when thou givest,
when thou takest away,
when the sun shines on me,
when night gathers over me.
Thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world,
and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still,
in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.
Thy goodness has been with me during another year,
leading me through a twisting wilderness,
in retreat helping me to advance,
when beaten back making sure headway.
Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist sail and draw up anchor,
With thee as the blessed pilot of my future as of my past.
I bless thee that thou hast veiled my eyes to the waters ahead.
If thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,
thou wilt be with me in them;
If I have to pass through tempests pf persecution and temptation,
I shall not drown;
If I am to die,
I shall see thy face the sooner;
If a painful end is to be my lot,
grant me grace that my faith fail not;
If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,
I can make no stipulation;
Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,
as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use.

Arthur Bennett, ed. Valley of Vision (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1975), p. 111

Happy Birthday little Elsie!

Today is Elsie's first birthday. She entered the world in a hurry (after keeping us waiting by being 11 days overdue!) and hasn't looked back. I can't believe a whole year has gone by.

This is us just an hour after she was born a year ago (I think I look a bit in shock since the labour was so quick!).


And today...

Blowing out the candle

Sampling the icing with her free hand!

Now she's ready for school (or at least she thinks so)!

We're so grateful that God chose to bless our family with her a year ago!

Guess which beach?

Ten points to the person who can guess which Sydney beach we went to this morning. Some clues: it took about 35 mins from our place in North Ryde, it's partly shady in the morning, it's great for little kids and it was still pretty empty when we arrived at 9.30. (There are even a few free parking spots, which made Dave very happy!)

The Zoo

We're having a little holiday at home over the next couple of weeks. Yesterday we went to the zoo. We pooled together some of the kids' Christmas money from this year and last year to become Zoo Friends. It will be the gift that keeps on giving because it means we can go anytime we want now for the next 12 months. Somehow we managed not to take any photos of the animals - but here are some photos of the family at the water play area and in the cable car (and a nice one of Jacob and Rebecca looking at the elephants).

Introducing...

Meet the newest members of the family - two hermit crabs that Jacob got from his nanna and grandad for Christmas. I'm introducing them because I have a feeling you'll be hearing about them again...


Let's hope they fare better than the silk worms!

Farrelly on Postmodern Christmas

Elizabeth Farrelly is a non-Christian journalist who writes on architecture and culture for the Sydney Morning Herald. In this article from today's Herald, she ponders the increasing secularity of the contemporary Australian Christmas, and offers some rather reformed- sounding musings about the impossibility of generating genuine faith by the power of "choice" alone:

Philip Pullman, author of The Golden Compass, may rage against religion. And it certainly has an embarrassment of atrocities to account for. But it's also clear, and the gradual transparency of age makes it clearer still, that belief brings inner strength. Further, that this particular strength is more significant and more life-enhancing than the prescribed formula of having your peristalsis, neurons and super-funds all in full working order. This makes belief a lifestyle issue. Even a wellbeing issue. It's about us so, like, it matters.

But the question then becomes, can belief be done this way? I don't mean is it right? Is it actually possible? Can you take up belief as you can ice hockey or tropical fish? Uh, I'll have, hmmm, gimme three parts Buddhism with two parts Hindu, one part Taoist and just a dash of, well, maybe, Judaic? Or maybe Christian, yes, a drop of Christian. Just the Sermon on the Mount, nothing else. Nothing angry or paternalistic. I am so over that. We presume that yes, we can believe not only what we choose, but because we choose. Postmodernism, after all, is about pluralism, and pluralism brings choice. And, despite its reported demise, postmodernism is everywhere. Like those long-chain hydrocarbons found in breastmilk, postmodernism has infiltrated our every thought and act.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Happy Christmas!

Wishing you...


I hope you all have a joyful day as we give thanks for the gift of gifts.

The Gift of Gifts

O Source of all Good,
What shall I render to Thee for the gift of gifts,
Thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
my Redeemer, Proxy, Surety, Substitute,
His self-emptying incomprehensible,
His infinity of love beyond the heart's grasp.

Herein is wonder of wonders:
He came below to raise me above,
He was born like me that I might become like Him.

Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to Him He draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to Himself.

Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
He united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreated and the created.

Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to Him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
He came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me.

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father,
place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer's face,
and in Him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp the new-born Child to my heart,
embrace Him with undying faith,
exulting that He is mine and I am His.

In Him Thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.

Arthur Bennett, ed. Valley of Vision (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1975), p. 16.

Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, we normally open our gingerbread house.

This year we invited Auntie Lois around for dinner.

Elsie was excited to get her first present ever (hasn't had a birthday yet!) though I think she found the bag even more exciting than the contents.

Poetry Monday

This is the last in our series of T.S. Eliot Christmas poems (the first two were The Cultivation of Christmas Trees and Journey of the Magi).

A Song for Simeon
by T.S. Eliot

Lord, the Roman hyacinths are blooming in bowls and
The winter sun creeps by the snow hills;
The stubborn season has made stand.
My life is light, waiting for the death wind,
Like a feather on the back of my hand.
Dust in sunlight and memory in corners
Wait for the wind that chills towards the dead land.

Grant us thy peace.
I have walked many years in this city,
Kept faith and fast, provided for the poor,
Have taken and given honour and ease.
There went never any rejected from my door.

Who shall remember my house, where shall live my children’s children
When the time of sorrow is come ?
They will take to the goat’s path, and the fox’s home,
Fleeing from the foreign faces and the foreign swords.

Before the time of cords and scourges and lamentation
Grant us thy peace.
Before the stations of the mountain of desolation,
Before the certain hour of maternal sorrow,
Now at this birth season of decease,
Let the Infant, the still unspeaking and unspoken Word,
Grant Israel’s consolation
To one who has eighty years and no to-morrow.

According to thy word,
They shall praise Thee and suffer in every generation
With glory and derision,
Light upon light, mounting the saints’ stair.
Not for me the martyrdom, the ecstasy of thought and prayer,
Not for me the ultimate vision.
Grant me thy peace.

(And a sword shall pierce thy heart,
Thine also).

I am tired with my own life and the lives of those after me,
I am dying in my own death and the deaths of those after me.
Let thy servant depart,
Having seen thy salvation.

Simeon's Song of Praise by Rembrandt (unfinished).
This painting was reputedly (and appropriately!) Rembrandt's last.

A new Christmas Tradition?

Here's a new family Christmas tradition Dave and I seem to have started up tonight: piling our pyjama-clad kids into the car at 7:3o (because we're routine-Nazis and this is already feeling like a very late night); driving around the suburb through a few of the streets that are famous (locally) for their Christmas lights; listening to the kids scream out "LIGHTS" every time we drive past a particularly garish decoration, followed by a disapproving sigh from Jacob and "another house where they think Santa's the most important thing about Christmas!"; arriving back home at 8:15 (by now it's way, way past their bedtime and it's not even dark yet) and tucking an over-tired Elsie and a shiny-eyed, excited Jacob and Rebecca into bed...

Actually, it was a lot of fun, and a chance for us all to do a bit of local cultural anthropology. We probably will do it again next year (and we may even stay up late enough to do it when it's dark!).


(If you're interested, you can find photos of various homes in Sydney that festoon their houses with lights here.)

More encouraging words at Christmas

A couple of days ago, I linked to a couple of posts that spoke about how difficult Christmas can be when you're suffering in some way. Today I found another good post written a few years ago by Noel Piper called 'When there's crisis at Christmas'. She writes:

One November a friend of mine almost lost her child. By Christmas the crisis was past, but they still were not sure of the long-term implications. She e-mailed me in mid-December, during the season which, before this, had always been her favorite...

You can read the rest here. (HT: Titus2talk).

Re-thinking Christmas traditions - Pt 5

You may remember how a few weeks ago I asked readers to email in examples of Christmas traditions that they grew up with or have started since. Here's the latest in that series; it's from my sister (at my request), who started a new Christmas tradition this year that I thought was worth blogging about....

We started a new Christmas tradition this year. We live in a unit block and have been keen to get to know some of our neighbours better. We saw Christmas as an opportunity to have a party. It turned out to be very simple and very effective.

I put an invite into people's mail boxes with the idea and some details. We live next door to a park so that was an easy venue. We suggested a start time and the only detail was to bring some food to share. We set up a table, an ice bucket for drinks and some disposable plates and cutlery. We also had some Christmas Carols playing on a CD player.

Many turned up and we got the chance to meet neighbours we didn't yet know and to get to know others better. I was nervous about doing it, and worried no-one would turn up. But I'm glad I did and everyone was very positive about doing something similar in the future.

A conversation with Rebecca

On the way to the 'Colin' Christmas concert this morning. Rebecca says: 'Mummy, my heart is bursting'.

Me: 'Why?'

Rebecca: 'Because I love you so much'.

Who said being a mum isn't rewarding?

Good children's books at Christmas

Something we like to do at Christmas is get out the special Christmas books for kids. Here are a few favourites in our family this time of year:

Wombat Divine, by Mem Fox.
This one is so delightful. It is about a wombat auditioning for a nativity play. Not a Christian book, but I like the way wombat ends up with the role of baby Jesus - and emu saying 'a nativity without the baby Jesus, is no nativity at all!'.






The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, by Barbara Robinson.

A lot of fun. Last year Dave read it with Jacob. This year I think we'll expand the tradition to include Rebecca and me.







How the Grinch Stole Christmas, by Dr Seuss.

An old family favourite. Fun, with an 'anti-materialism' message behind it.








The Nativity, by Julie Vivas.

This is basically just the KJV text from Luke, with the most beautiful, earthy illustrations.






A friend of mine with older kids told me that they all read The Christmas Mystery, by Jostein Gaarder together as a family at Christmas time.

We also read the Christmas story from the various children's Bibles we have (especially The Beginners Bible and The Big Picture Story Bible, both of which I think tell the story well). I'd love to hear from you though. Which ones do you like using with your kids? Which books do you get out at Christmas?

Sadness at Christmas

Christmas is meant to be the happiest time of year. Which is probably why it's such a hard time for many of us. Christmas can remind us of people we love who aren't with us anymore. This time of year could trigger painful memories (in my family many of us are still affected at this time of year by the sudden death of my nanna at Christmas time over 20 years ago). Or Christmas could be an unwanted reminded that another year has gone by and you still haven't managed to fall pregnant, or get married or find employment (the list goes on...). Or it could be just hard to feel like celebrating when you're struggling with loneliness or depression.

For many of us, we need to be reminded that not all of us are bursting at the seams with excitement this time of year. I found Girl Talk's post's Comfort at Christmastime, and Bittersweet Christmas very helpful in this respect. And let's pray for each other. That those of us who have a lot of sadness in their lives this Christmas would find moments of real joy in the middle of the sadness.

Some more Christmas decorations

Well, I've shown you the really easy angel decorations Rebecca and I did this week. Now I have some instructions for some more challenging angel decorations to share with you (ie, ones you probably wouldn't make as easily with your three old). The example and instructions come from my friend Ally.

ANGEL BEAD ORNAMENT INSTRUCTIONS

1. Cut wire about 60cm long.
2. Fold in half.
3. FEET : thread 1 small bead onto one thickness. Stop bead at bend in wire.
4. SKIRT: holding both wires together, thread 1 ‘drop’
5. BODY: holding both wires together, thread 1 medium bead (with large inner
hole).
6. WINGS: separating wire, thread approx 15 seed beads into one side, thread
wire back into the ‘body’ bead. Repeat for other wing.
7. HEAD: holding both wires together, thread 1medium round bead for head.
8. HALO: with both wires together, thread 1 bead cap (or daisy spacer bead)
9. FINISHING OFF: holding both wires together thread 1 seed (or metallic
bead)
10. Holding both wires thread one crimp piece and squash.
11. Using the same beads as used for wings, thread beads for about 10cm on
each wire.
12. With wires together again thread 1 crimp (and close) 1 seed bead and 1
crimp (close).

An interview with Noel Piper

As I've mentioned before, Noel Piper's book Treasuring God in our Traditions has influenced me a lot in thinking through how to celebrate Christmas in our house. She discussed the book in an interview last week, so if you haven't had a chance to read the book yet (and even if you have!), it's worth a listen! You can find it here.

The Preschool Christmas Concert

This morning was Jacob's last day of preschool. They had a Christmas concert for all the parents which was excellent (of course). As any other parent would do, I had my camera trained on him most of the time (I mean, who else do the grandparents really want to see?). But when Miss Vanessa started telling the Christmas story, I focussed on her for a few minutes. Listen carefully, and you'll hear that (much to the amusement of everybody else), Jacob was quite concerned that I might not have realised where he was standing (it seemed pretty funny at the time, although perhaps you had to be there!).


And here's one that's just cute. He's the one dressed up as the archangel Gabriel (apparently it was a role he asked for). He also has a robin's beak on his forehead for the 'robin in a tree' line in this song.



We're so thankful to God for the teachers at St John's North Ryde. He's had such a wonderful year!

Looking at Mary again...

Every year around Christmas time I try to read through the Christmas story in one of the gospels again. This year I've been reading through Luke. I love the way you are reminded of things and notice new things the more you read the Bible.

One thing I've come to notice in recent years is the role of Mary in the story as Jesus' mother. It's probably since I have been a mother myself that I've noticed her a bit more. I also remember thinking a bit about Mary last year at Christmas as I was awaiting Elsie's birth! (As an aside, the longer version is Elsie's name is "Elisabeth Mary" because she was kind of a Christmas baby, born 29 December). The other reason I think I notice her is that Luke tells the story mainly through her eyes. It seems like she must have been one of his main sources in the first two chapters of his gospel.

It would be a mistake to make Mary an object of our faith alongside or in place of Jesus (this book by Ray Galea has a chapter that gives a good summary and critique of Catholic beliefs about Mary), but in our reaction against that as evangelicals, we shouldn't throw out the encouragement that we can take from Mary as an example of faith.

The main thing I can see her doing as I've re-read Luke, is trusting God. When the angel appears to her she's 'greatly troubled', and when he tells her that she will have a child who will be the Son of God, she's confused, asking 'how can this be, since I am a virgin?' And yet, she goes on to say 'I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said'. This combination of struggle and submission seems to me to be a wonderful example of how faith in God works in the real world.

And then there's that bit in chapter 2, after the visit of the shepherds, where it says that Mary 'treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart'. Faith not only submits to God's word (even when it's a struggle) but also treasures it - and treasures what God has done, and who he is. This verse seems to me to be the quiet, intellectual, long-term, internal equivalent of the spontaneous, emotional, exuberant, outward 'rejoicing' and 'magnifying' that Mary does in her song in chapter 1; both of them are aspects of what it means to respond with genuine faith to God's word and his salvation.

I want to be a bit more like that (submitting, rejoicing, magnifying, treasuring...) in the way that I respond to God and his salvation this Christmas!

Painting is Annunciation with St. Emidius, by Carlo Crivelli, (1486)

The receiving end

Back in September I wrote a post about putting together boxes for Operation Christmas Child. It was an attempt for us to teach our kids to start thinking about Christmas in a way that didn't start with their list of things they wanted from Santa (you can find the original post here).

At the time, I wondered about what the experience for communities receiving 'Christmas Child' gifts is like, and whether it is as positive for the receivers as it is for the givers. Rachael, a friend who is a missionary in Vanuatu, has just written a post on her blog about the distribution of the Operation Christmas Child boxes there this year and how they were received. You can read her observations and reflections here.

Easy Christmas Decorations

This morning Rebecca and I made some Christmas decorations together (to give away as presents). I bought some beads and glittery pipecleaners (also known as chenille sticks) from a $2 shop and used the instructions from here to make them. We did it a little differently, because we decided to make angels as well as wreaths. To make the angels, we started off the same way with the loop in the middle, but then shaped it into a triangle after we have threaded the beads. Then we added the wings by twisting pipecleaners around the top to get the right shape.


Rebecca also wanted to make some look like Mary, so we just did them with straight bits of pipecleaner for arms.


Rebecca loved doing it. The pipecleaner is much easier to thread beads onto than elastic, thread or wire, so she could do it all by herself!

Poetry Monday

This is the second T.S. Eliot Christmas poem I want to share with you. Eliot wrote this poem not long after after his conversion to Christianity. It's from the perspective of one of the Magi who visited Jesus in Matthew's gospel. The journey was difficult and at times seemed pointless to the Magi ("With the voices singing in our ears, saying that this was all folly"), but by the end of the poem it seems he realises that this birth was full of significance. Yet the tone is hardly exuberant - reflecting on the events years later, the narrator seems to be conscious mainly of what was put to death by this birth - the "hard and bitter agony", and of the alienation and dis-ease that it resulted in for him on his return to what was once his home, among "an alien people clutching their gods." The last line is hauntingly ambivalent.

Journey of the Magi

'A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.'
And the camels galled, sore-footed,
refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the
terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.

Then the camel men cursing and
grumbling
And running away, and wanting their
liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the
lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns
unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high
prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all
night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears,
saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a
temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of
vegetation;
With a running stream and a water-mill
beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped in
away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with
vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for
pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins.
But there was no information, and so
we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment
too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say)
satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I
remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth,
certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had
seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different;
this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like
Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these
Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old
dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their
gods.
I should be glad of another death.

More advent calendar inspiration

I've discovered a Creative Advent Calendars group on Flickr with loads of pics of creative Advent calendars. Worth a look - even if it's to get inspiration for NEXT December!

HT: All Sorts.

Using the Really Useful Catalogue

I love the Really Useful Gift Catalogue! It recognises the fact that there is real joy and pleasure in giving (more than in receiving) and that there is something very appropriate about celebrating Christmas with gifts; at the same time, it recognises the fact that most of us, in the West at any rate, are glutted with material wealth, so that there is something grotesque about our annual exchange of luxury goods. It gives you a chance to personalise the gift (school supplies for a teacher; seeds for a gardener; childbirth necessities for a pregnant mother) and to share the pleasure, so that giver and recipient both get a share in the joy (even if only the giver gets the tax deduction!).

The easiest and least problematic way to use it, I think, is by mutual consent - you negotiate a truce and both agree to shop around for an appropriate 'really useful' style gift to give.

Beyond that, I have a few lingering uncertainties, and would love to hear your thoughts!

For example, is it fair to give someone a goat (which actually ends up in a village in Tanzania) when they've given you a book or a CD or some hand-cream? (I'm guessing the answer is no?)

What if you supplement your present to them with a 'really useful' gift as well, or use them instead of Christmas cards? Is there a breach of the left-hand/right-hand principle going on here?

And is there a problem if you give a 'really useful' gift from a Christian charity, who serve others in the name of Jesus) to a non-Christian friend? (I'm assuming that you wouldn't give a non-Christian friend a gift that funded an evangelist or a pastor - or would you?)

OK, that's enough moral dilemmas! Here are a couple of links, and then I'd love to hear what you think...


TEAR Australia - Arguably the World's Most Useful Gift Catalogue. This is one we've used quite a few times. Gifts start at $5 (school supplies) and go up to $5,000 (a package to help a village in India).







CMS - Being a missionary society, CMS has a gift catalogue in which all the gifts relate to the spread of the gospel (eg. $5 for 'training children's workers in Tanzania, $50 for supporting a Bible training centre in Pakistan).

So what do you do about Santa Claus?

I've been involved in a few conversations lately (it being the Christmas season and all) about Santa. Should Christians have Santa as part of their Christmas? And if you don't, what do you do about family members who would rather you did - and (here is something I haven't fully confronted yet), how do you make sure your kids don't tell everyone else's kids that he's not real? So, I thought I might share what we do in our family and some useful things I've heard from other mums in the hope that it might be helpful to at least some of you!

Dave and I have decided not to 'do Santa Claus' in our family. While our immediate families are understanding (which I admit does make the decision easier), our extended families and most of the rest of our society are pretty horrified at the thought that you would be denying yours kids so much pleasure at this time of the year. So why don't we just go with the flow? Isn't he just a bit of harmless fun? I don't think he is. And here's why:

1. Talking about Santa and Jesus as part of the same celebration is confusing for kids. Noel Piper puts this well in Treasuring God in our Traditions:

Think how confusing it must be to a literal-thinking, uncritical pre-schooler. Santa is so much like what we're trying all year to teach our children about God. Look at the "attributes" of Santa:

• He's omniscient - he sees everything you do.
• He rewards you if you're good.
• He's omnipresent - at least, he can be everywhere in one night.
• He gives you good gifts.
• He's the most famous "old man in the sky" figure.

But at the deeper level that young children can't comprehend yet, he is not like God at all. For example, does Santa really care if we're bad or good? Think of the most awful kid you can remember. Did he or she ever not get gifts from Santa? What about Santa's spying and then rewarding you if you're good enough? That's not the way God operates. He gave us his gift- his Son- even though we weren't good enough at all.

2. I can see that you could do Santa in a way that acknowledged he was pretend. But if you do the whole 'shebang' and do Santa properly - eg. pretend he is real, put the lettuce leaves out for the reindeer, a cup of tea (or something stronger), Christmas cake and of course the stocking for Santa, I can't see a way to do that without well, um, lying to them. I think this is a big issue in itself and yet strangely, not one that is often addressed when thinking through the Santa vs no Santa question.

3. While Santa seems harmless enough, he is actually representative of a set of values that is in direct opposition to what we as Christians would want to teach our kids at Christmas. The original St Nicholas had a lot of good points (see this Titus2Talk post from Christmas last year if you're interested). But the modern caricature symbolises something different. I think it is very fitting that the image we see of him now, actually came out of a Coca Cola advertising campaign from the 1930s. What Santa represents is really just materialism when it comes down to it - prosperity gospel for kids. If you're good - you'll get presents. This isn't just an add on to the Christmas message - it completely contradicts it. In Jesus being sent to earth as a baby, illegitimate, with no place to be born into the world - we see a God who chooses to work in the lowly things of this earth, and comes to save not the righteous but sinners.

So, how do you NOT do Santa in our society? Well, I must admit that we haven't had to confront this as much as friends of ours since Jacob is yet to start school (and goes to an Anglican preschool now). The best approach we've heard from our friends seems to be a) tell them Santa's a pretend game that some families play but b) teach your kids not to ruin it for everyone else by telling them that. If people ask what Santa gave them, they tell them what they were given by their parents and leave it at that. And they don't say anything when kids talk about him. Sounds hard, but I think this is a good exercise in teaching them that living as Christians will mean being different from those around you.

And the other thing I think is important, is to be as creative and fun as you can in the way you celebrate Christmas without Santa. I don't think the way to not do Santa is to take all the joy out of Christmas - it's to focus the joy on Jesus - our Saviour. What could be more exciting?

A Christmassy recipe - Coconut ice

Rebecca is 'rounding up' some recipes for cookies, squares or bars, candy, etc at the moment, so I thought I'd join in and include something that I made today. It's an Australian 'favourite' at Christmas time - Coconut Ice. Perfect to make with kids - easy and no actual cooking involved.

Here's the recipe:

Easy Coconut Ice

Combine 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 3 1/3 cups of icing sugar and 4 1/4 cups desiccated coconut. Mix well, divide the mixture in half. Press half in the base of a small slice tin, colour the rest with a few drops of pink food colouring. Press the pink mixture over the white. Chill until firm.

See. It's really easy.

Here's a picture of the almost finished product with the proud 'chefs'...(the boy in the middle is Jacob's friend Noah, from church, who came around this morning).


And the finished product.

Traditions from my childhood...

Here are a few things that I'm glad my family did round Christmas time when I was growing up:

1. We always read How The Grinch Stole Christmas on Christmas Eve before we went to bed.

2. My dad and sister would always make the Christmas pudding the night before, using my dad's family recipe (and had to stay up past midnight to wait for it to finish boiling usually!). They still make the pudding, even now she is married with a little boy (although now they have to get their diaries out to work out a good time to do it).

3. A few years after my mum and dad became Christians, we started opening presents after we went to church in the morning so the focus of the day wasn't on the presents but on meeting with our church family to celebrate. This met with quite a bit of opposition from my sister and me, but mum and dad held the line and I'm glad they did.

4. Mum and Dad would often invite other people over on Christmas day (particularly people who would have been spending Christmas alone). This was another tradition that we started after mum and dad became Christians. We've had quite a few really special Christmases where we've had various people over to share Christmas lunch with us.

5. Darrell Lea Christmas pudding. I know I've already mentioned this. But it is very important!

Don't forget, you can still email me with traditions you grew up with, or have started in your family! I'd love to hear some more...

Jane and Ruth

Over the last few weeks we've been reading Ruth in our Bible study group on Sunday nights, and during the same period (coincidentally) I've been watching the TV adaptation of Jane Eyre that's been showing on the ABC. Ruth is one of my favourite books in the Bible, and Jane Eyre was one of my favourite novels when I was growing up, so I enjoyed both the Bible studies and the TV series enormously. Having reached the end of both, I've found myself reflecting on the similarities and differences between them.

The similarities are obvious. The central character of both stories is a powerless female outsider, cut adrift from the normal securities of family and home and cast upon the mercy of others. Both stories end happily (unless you take the dark reading of Jane Eyre, in which Rochester's first wife Bertha functions as a cypher for the future of Jane herself, if she marries Rochester!).

But the differences are striking. Jane Eyre is (as I read it) intensely focused on the identity and fulfilment of the individual. (The TV version tried to reinforce this with endlessly repeated shots of Jane gazing in mirrors!) It is Jane's self that is important, and her fierce determination to be true to it. And the marriage that concludes the book ("Reader, I married him") is the union of two selves, cut adrift from the world but understood and loved by each other.

In Ruth, by way of contrast, we never lose the sense that Ruth exists within in a web of relationships, even if she is forced to choose between one set (those of her family and home in Moab) and another (with the family and nation and God that she has become connected with through her mother-in-law Naomi and her fidelity to her). The marriage with Boaz is not just about two individuals finding one another - it has implications for Naomi and for all the people of the town, and for the name and land of Naomi and Ruth's dead husbands and (ultimately) for the birth of King David and, a little further down the line, the birth of the Saviour of the world. So we end not just with a marriage but with a birth, and with a family tree.

Not all people who long for marriage end up finding the happy ending of a Ruth or a Jane Eyre. But if we are to understand the dimensions of the 'good' that marriage represents (either - for those of us who aspire to be married - to understand what it is we ought to be aspiring to, or - for those of us who are married - to understand the purposes of the marriage that we have) it seems to me that the 'happy ending' of Ruth is a much larger, more satisfying vision than the 'happy ending' of Jane Eyre. It is a great thing to find a soul-mate; it is even more wonderful when that blessing is nested within a wider community of relationships, and when the 'boy meets girl' story has a part to play in the larger story of the kindness of God at work in the world. (A bit like the argument in this book, by Christopher Ash.)

Charlotte Bronte had the chance to create something a bit more like the Ruth-and-Boaz ending with the St John Rivers character, but ended up constructing him as a kind of caricature of it - one that Jane had to reject in order find the real happy ending with Rochester. It makes for a more interesting novel, perhaps - I'm not sure it makes for a better vision of life!

Poetry Monday

Well, it's good-bye to Emily Dickinson and hello to T.S. Eliot, for a three week series leading up to Christmas.

I thought, given all the discussion about Christmas trees over the last week or so, that I might start with this poem. It's one of his later poems (1954) and kinda prosy in style, but I still like it!

I'm still trying to work out whether I agree with his take on Christmas and all its various trappings, rejecting on the one hand 'the social, the torpid, the patently commercial, the rowdy... and the childish', but also, on the other hand, 'the piety of the convert / Which may be tainted with a self-conceit / Displeasing to God and disrespectful to children'.

If I read him right, he seems to be saying that there is a whole lot of stuff - like Christmas trees - that is not (strictly) essential to the true meaning of Christmas, but forms a kind of halo around the story that contributes our joy in Jesus rather than distracting from it - "So that before the end, the eightieth Christmas / (By "eightieth" meaning whichever is last)/ The accumulated memories of annual emotion / May be concentrated into a great joy...".

It all feels a bit more 'Catholic' than Puritan, but I still find myself agreeing... I think!!

Anyway, enough from me - here's the poem...

The Cultivation of Christmas Trees

There are several attitudes towards Christmas,
Some of which we may disregard:
The social, the torpid, the patently commercial,
The rowdy (the pubs being open till midnight),
And the childish - which is not that of the child
For whom the candle is a star, and the gilded angel
Spreading its wings at the summit of the tree
Is not only a decoration, but an angel.

The child wonders at the Christmas Tree:
Let him continue in the spirit of wonder
At the Feast as an event not accepted as a pretext;
So that the glittering rapture, the amazement
Of the first-remembered Christmas Tree,
So that the surprises, delight in new possessions
(Each one with its peculiar and exciting smell),
The expectation of the goose or turkey
And the expected awe on its appearance,

So that the reverence and the gaiety
May not be forgotten in later experience,
In the bored habituation, the fatigue, the tedium,
The awareness of death, the consciousness of failure,
Or in the piety of the convert
Which may be tainted with a self-conceit
Displeasing to God and disrespectful to children
(And here I remember also with gratitude
St.Lucy, her carol, and her crown of fire):

So that before the end, the eightieth Christmas
(By "eightieth" meaning whichever is last)
The accumulated memories of annual emotion
May be concentrated into a great joy
Which shall be also a great fear, as on the occasion
When fear came upon every soul:
Because the beginning shall remind us of the end
And the first coming of the second coming.